My next secretary! 😆

Well… had an interesting idea for a post from my friend Missy… My next secratary… 😆

Now I have to get some crappy work in order to justify that! 😛

Anyway… Missy… Ya famous now! 😉

Full of ideas, nuttiness… but this was at least an interesting idea for a post.

Now… what would you say about the picture there? 😮

“OMG… she is nice…” or something along those lines… Highly likely I bet! 😉

Or if you are somewhat blind… maybe… “she is ok…” !!

In that case… you really should have gone to bloody specsavers man!! 😆

The attraction factor

What makes us attractive, why do some people attract each other, is beauty skin deep … what makes something/someone attractive or worthy etc… what are the properties we should be looking for in other people we choose to surround ourselves with, in whatever capacity.

So many questions Missy!

Lets roll around together with that …

You seen her jugs??? …

missy's jugs!
😆 What? 😆

😆 well, what was YOU expecting?

Men are shallow… ya right missy! Well apart from this blurk… as you say! 😛

The truth is, we are all wired this way, you ladies too, that’s fact and no point fighting it, we would all do well to accept it.

But what an interesting thought process we started on facebook faceache, one that no doubt all of us think about at times… mostly when we are young, when we have no real idea as the lack of experience is telling.

It often takes us several relationships to know where you “fit in” IE, “she/he is out of my league” is often said, it’s an important factor in life too.

Who chooses where we fit?

We do… we work this out over the course of a few relationships, even though every relationship is unique it’s often that we find patterns, we all know that is a truth, some girls always go out with assholes, different assholes but assholes all the same… some guys always choose ditzy blondes, or fiery redheads… whatever! 🙂

Is beauty really skin deep?

In a word, YES on meeting… that is we make up that decision faster than we know… blink of an eye is all it takes most of the time, most men don’t know it, but it’s not just the beauty of the girl, it’s often the unconscious notion of have beautiful offspring, likewise women also take into consideration the gene factor… but more often than men, they are aware of it and more consciencley choose.

It’s not a coincidence that women usually instigate divorce after a longish marriage, the kids are grown somewhat… chances are the man is not attractive to them like they were… IE you got the gorgeous kids, so now you want to have an attraction for you… not for a genetic reason…  selfish reasons, yes but completely understandable. 😉

What makes us attractive

100 men could look at the same gorgeous women and all find her attractive, yet all will find something different that’s attractive about them…

So many things make the difference with all of us, far too many to name, the truth is, it’s small things, we can see the beauty in everyone, it may be just a small thing that captures the eye, more often than not I find hands a big part of attractiveness, may seem odd, but hey ho I AM odd! 🙂

Nothing worse then seeing lovely ladies with manky hands, manky nails.. no thanks! They ain’t touching my… oh wait, let’s not go there! 😆

With the ladies, 100 women could look at one good looking man and of them, 30% won’t even like him… the rest all to varying degrees for various reasons, some won’t even see him!

Ladies.. go into a bar filled with men and you will agree many of them men are almost invisible to you, yet with men, they scan the room different, they see all the women, then ignore most…

A bit of a difference there wouldn’t you say? 😉

Many would say, Missy, you got stunning eyes, or a gorgeous smile… or cracking jugs… 😆

Me, I say all of them lol… but I know you, I know what is the main factor with you… your personality, or more accurately, your crazy sense of humour… you drag the Kenny Everett out of everyone! 🙂

Why do certain people attract each other?

This largely in my mind depends on where you are in the circle of life, your age, if you have kids (their age too) the kind of things you like doing, all these circumstances effect it, without us even thinking about it at times but the question is a good one, certain people do attract certain people, that saying “opposites attract” must have some merit… Yin and Yang… Chalk and cheese… Missy and me. 😆

Back off Missy!! Oh,  just a little bit, so I can gaze… 😛

The key for me is, what is it you need from a relationship, that should be the bearing on who you attract, who can give you that…

Who can make you feel the way you need to feel, rather than want, as they are close but the results can be a gulf…

I can’t think of this as a cut and dry thing, we change, things change, what attracts us changes, what we see as attractive in others changes… nothing stays the same, ever! (apart from my youthful looks!)  😆 … 😛

What should we be looking for in other people

That depends on too many things, but there is one basic truth, you don’t… when you look for it, you never find it. 🙂

What I’d say is, what can you offer that others who you would like to attract will notice… 😉

The stupid thing is attraction works like buses, nothing happens for a while, then two or three people start liking you… why?

Because people want what they can’t bloody have, that is why some people try “stealing” other peoples women, blokes, the chase all just to confirm to their own little minds that they can, regardless of the pain they cause others… they don’t care, sadly.

So, missy… what say you? Food for thought? 😉

Does it answer any questions or thoughts you had?

All that from a bloody single bloke!!! 😆

So Missy, forget the old ginger dipstick who hurt ya, when ya ready, give us a shout… I can grab me some Missy magic! 😛 😆

Attraction factor and Missy magic…
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51 thoughts on “Attraction factor and Missy magic…

  • August 25, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Rob Baby, nice post here. I am one of those women who on rare occasion when I do go out, I glaze over the men. I think that’s because men go out more for the purpose of meeting women, but women go out for the sake of having fun. So I tend not to notice men unless I am approached, doesn’t happen to often but it does. I am attracted to personality above all. You might believe that until I see all the guys I ever dated, maybe only 2 or 3 of them would women mutually agree were attractive. I know there is usually an instant attraction to men whose attitude and demeanor are more like me. Like attracting Like.
    Karen Cruz@passioninwords´s last blog post ..The Answer

    • August 25, 2010 at 4:39 pm

      Hey Karen,

      Thanks for commenting… hope ya well? 😉

      Interesting to hear a woman’s point of view there, thanks… maybe I should ONLY look for fun 😆 but I am not that shallow… fancy a bonk? 😆 JOKE!!!

      Rob´s last blog post ..Loyalty- where’s yours going- and are you getting value

  • August 25, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    Well Rob,

    how refreshing – quite a change of tack from your usual blogs, although it does not detract from them.

    I really enjoyed reading your views on what attracts men to women. From my point of view I know, in certain cases, that looks are the first attraction but after that comes the inner beauty – the personality, the ability to communicate quite freely and also compassion. Looks are certainly not enough as has been proved so many times in this world of ours. I don’t feel I want to embroider this any further because it will become too deep for such a wonderful light-hearted, entertaining blog.

    Thank you Rob :o)

    • August 25, 2010 at 4:59 pm

      Glad ya liked it, does make a change to write light-hearted stuff… 😉

      Though it’s all true still… hear me Missy! 😛 Ya nuts! 😛

      Looks are nothing really, well, no-one wants an ugly partner, unless they are rich… 😆 … but, yeah, I agree, a personality goes a looong way, same as a sense of humour does. Wish I had one. 😛
      Rob´s last blog post ..Living up to the perception you put out- why most screw up

  • August 25, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    You two really need to get together! The moral – keep your nails nice :oP

  • August 25, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    Interesting and insightful, a great read, and a good giggle in places.

    Lots of deep and meaningful observations and suggestions. Perhaps my favourite observation is that Missy brings out the Kenny Everett in everyone, never a truer word spoken.

    Keep writing and sharing your thoughts Rob.

    Bright Blessings xxx

  • August 25, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    Loved reading this Rob. How very true it is. I agree wih Karen (above), that when i go out it is usually for fun, so i generally don’t look at all the blokes. I also can’t stand being chatted up by someone who’s been drinking.:) I also agree that looks are a main factor, it’s the first thing you notice…..but then personality is what keeps a relationship going.
    Well here’s hoping that after all my frogs i might get to find a prince charming. lol.

    • August 25, 2010 at 7:37 pm

      Glad you liked it, thanks for sharing your comment with us…

      Karen makes a good point, yet it’s in any situation where there’s lots of blokes, you scan very different to us, half of them you wouldn’t even notice… 😉

      Depends if I am there too… 😆 Joke! 😛

      Frogs… well, they are slimy, so must have been gross kissing them! 🙂
      Rob´s last blog post ..Portland get’s a Red Arrow flyby

  • August 27, 2010 at 10:30 am

    Lovely to see me through the eyes of somebody else and deeply flattering too thanks mate, I have written my sorta take on what I think of the same questions on my facebook notes, but have no idea how to migrate that here, if you wanted to display it. To be honest though, right now I am normally concentrating on not falling off of the killer heels I am wearing than scouting the room for talent…..shoes……they will never break a girls heart LOLOLOL!!!! Thanks again Rob for taking a topic I posed and using it for one of your blogs (even if I ended up being more of the subject of said blog than I intended LOLOLOLOL!!!)

  • August 27, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    I think its innate to most men (I don’t want to generalize) that the first thing we see in a woman is their physical appearance and also their impact on us. I say impact because there are women who doesn’t really look pretty if you try to look at them closely. But because they have confidence, it gives them more appeal to men.

    As for Missy, based on her photo, first thing that came into my mind is that “she looks hot!”. Seriously she does, I can see her good and outgoing personality as well.

  • August 27, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    Deeply flattered THANKYOU!!!! I like to think the best bit of me is the bit on the inside…..cos thats the bit i will still have in 30 years time :))) xxx

  • August 27, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Missys comment….

    How many times have you been somewhere and clocked someone and thought “HUMMANA HUMMANA”, he/she is LUSH??? And within 15 mins (often less for me) of being in the same room as them you think URGH I would actually like to club you to death with the french stick from the buffet….and when you look again that beauty seems to have ebbed away!!!! For me this is usually because that person has been unkind to someone else, is a racist, is arrogant, KNOWS how nice looking they are, and more interested in the way they look than saying anything of substance (mirror kissers are BLUGH and they hog the bathroom!!!), or has displayed some other form of not NICE behaviour and is generally giving out a bad vibe!!!! Just because you are nice looking does not make you nice so to speak!!!!!!!!

    Just the same as the times where you go somewhere and meet someone who would not normally be your cup of tea……shorter than you would have chosen perhaps…….perhaps they are welsh (LMAO!!! sorry Cath could not resist!!!)…..perhaps them is ginger (*SOB*) and yet within 5 mins of being in the same room as them you are drawn to be a little closer to them, maybe they have displayed a kindness, or a trait that endears them to you, or usually in my case because they are making me laugh and before you know it you have cupids arrow sticking out of your left ass cheek!!!!!!

    Ask anyone whats Missy’s type???? They will tell you…..cos I go on about it often enough!!! My ticklist would look something like this..

    Eyes you can drown in
    LURVE specs…..its no coincidence that both husbands have been wearers of the bins…..I like em….but they are not essential!!! LMAO!!

    But my achilles heel is accents, all accents are cute (some more than others), Scots are lush, Irish are lush, but my most favourite….even more than bikkits are the MERICANS!!!! Call me Maam and you are halfway there!!!!

    Physically I also like……..
    Necks….napes of necks are SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY!!!!!!!
    I quite like the bumpy bone on the wrist…..tanned arm….. a little hairy……crisp white shirt….. ANYWAY I digress!!!!!!!
    Manly hands (who wants to go out with a fella whos hands are softer than mine…not me!!)

    Examples of my very fave boys would be

    Gerard Butler (verily lights my fire)
    BOTH Salvator brothers from Vampire Diaries, I am single, I answer to nobody, and in this case i would happily put my morals in a box and chuck em in the sea!!!
    Patrick Swayze (RIP gorgeous boy!!)

    HOWEVER…………if you look at guys I have been out with you will see that NONE of the men I have ever been out with have fitted that description and I often find myself drawn to the complete opposite of my type, this is usually because of personalities!!! Funny…….funny is always a good thing!!!

    I think we all have our Blueprint for who we would LIKE to end up with, but for me personality will always win out!!!! Even if I met 10 guys that fit my IDEAL list the odds are I probably would not fancy any of them!!!! Fickle me eh (ever read “The Wellbeloved” by Thomas Hardy….thats me that is!!!!) With me I usually “KNOW” reeeeeeeeally quickly……and if I like you then you WILL know….I dont do subtle me LOLOL !!! People often misconstrue my flirty nature, or banter as a “come-on”……believe me…..if I have not said to you “loud and clear”…..then the odds are I DONT!!!



    I once had a boss who EVERY SINGLE man she ever went out with or married, was an alchololic, or violent, or an abusive ASSHOLE…..usually all 3!!!! She was lovely but she thrived on the making up and breaking up, and hers was alot to do with her father being the same way when she was growing up!! Very often (NOT ALL THE TIME BUT OFTEN) relationships follow that pattern and I have seen it time and time again!!! Me I is werry lucky……my Daddy is a pussycat, gentle, VERY KIND and VERY VERY funny!!! (I am sure my mother saw the downsides to him) but as a daughter he was a pretty good blueprint (and EVERYONE I know that knows my Daddy loves him, he was a good choice as a Dad…fanks Mummy xxxx!!)……and to date although I have been out with some total assholes (and some not!!!) but I have never had a hand raised to me, or been verbally abused, or been downtrodden as such and for that I feel so grateful….ALL my boys (and there have not been many, much as that might surprise a few of you!!) even the shitbags, have been pussycats!!! (and Missy lubbed em!!!), I have been out with em all me, gay, straight, tall, short, dark, blonde, ginger (again sob!!), its been the lushness inside em that made them such valuable parts of my lifes tapestry!!!!

    I also dont get the whole…..flaws thing!!! To me a flaw is if someone is cruel or spiteful or physically violent or JUDGEMENTAL….I adopt a very live and live attitude with EVERYONE on the planet, colour, creed, religion….means nothing to me. ALL of us are not perfect, and even I (difficult as that maybe for you to believe :0P) have my faults and hangups!!! But I dont see someone being overweight as a flaw (unless its me trying to tuck my tummy in my knickers NOT A GOOD LOOK!!!), one of the most BEAUTIFUL people I know is a big girl, and yet she dresses AMAZINGLY, she can light up a town let alone a room with her smile and her personality is magic, who cares if she is not a size 10, if a fella cannot see past that to the beauty she is then thats his loss (if I was a bloke……… I WOULD marry her in a heartbeat)!!!! The same with Rob Sellen, his deafness should have no more bearing on his attractiveness than my fat ass has on mine, and yet some people still feels the need to throw the deaf card into the ring!! TWATS!!!!!!

    I guess what I am trying to say, is that you cannot CHOOSE who you fall in love with, thats the magical part about falling in love, how boring it would be if it was that easy, and heartbreak is necessary to teach us lessons about life, ourselves, and to make us value (in the case of the delectable Beth “Milfy” Milton) when things are great and to grab them with both hands and treasure them for however long we are lucky enough to keep it!!!!!! Types are nice to have, but the thrill of NOT KNOWING whats next is what keeps me alive!!! Sometimes you are lucky enough to find “Yer Lobster” in school (JAMMY DEVILS), sometimes (like in the case of Tracy & Dave Hirst) you have to wait a LONG TIME to meet your “ONE” and finally know true happiness (I LOVE SEEING IT!!!!)……the important thing is to LIVE……..whether you are happily loved up, whether you are heartbroken, whether you are healing…..LIFE is still happening, who wants to waste it crying…NOT BLOODY ME!!!! Love is only one part of our lives, and while you are waiting for your Knight in Shining Armour to tip up, or in my case Mr “STRAIGHT” Brokeback Mountain……you still have friends to treasure, families to love and LIFE TO BE LIVING!!!!!

    I am so grateful for the AMAZING people I have shared (I still have love for ALL my ex’s……they gave me happy times, some gave me babies and they helped me to walk down the path that was mapped out for me loooong before my Mum & Dad met at Portland Fair all those years ago!!!!) and do share my life with!!! So for now I am carrying my own cases (and sometimes my arms get tired) but I do have faith there is someone out there with “Missy M’lady Moonbeam” stamped on his ass…poor fella LOLOLOL!!! But for now I am in NO RUSH at all to find him…..I am just enjoying the ride!!!!!

    This is all just MY opinion…..my take on it…..you dont have to agree, nobody MADE you read this note( though I am super glad you did!!!), what i will say is that I ask if you comment you RESPECT that you are all on my friends list for a reason, and slating of anyone in anyway will not be tollerated and I shall be pretty ruthless with my delete button should a scrap breakout!!! There are ways of saying EVERYTHING you want to say in a NICE WAY!!!!! Freedom of speech is encouraged…….being a twat is not!!!!!

    If you have managed to get this far and not die of boredom….fanks for reading!!! Who knows, maybe something I said might strike a chord with one of you or provoke a smile…..in which case…..me’s work here is done!!!!!

    I love you
    Missy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    Rob´s last blog post ..Attraction factor and Missy magic…

  • August 27, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    Wow Rob this is a good one very insightful, oddly enough I am hands girl myself. If I see a guy with great looking hands I am charmed:)

    It is true however that I gaze over men out and about, but the reality is I gaze over alot of things out and about LOL

    I got quite a bit from this post but I think mostly is to pay attention, I know that was not what you were going for but as you say we are all different, therefore I don’t suppose we would all view the post the same way. Good one!
    Jenny´s last blog post ..Lost All Your Twitter Followers

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  • September 17, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Testing the new faceache, I mean facebook log in… BUT you must add captcha code first, odd glitch I know…. hopefully this work and also shares it to my own facebook profile, please do tick the share box too. 🙂


  • September 18, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    “It’s not a coincidence that women usually instigate divorce after a longish marriage, the kids are grown somewhat… chances are the man is not attractive to them like they were… IE you got the gorgeous kids, so now you want to have an attraction for you… not for a genetic reason… selfish reasons, yes but completely understandable.”

    Wow! I take it you are not married? What makes you think a woman isn’t still attracted to hubby after her kids are grown? lol I have been married 21 years and my husband is still attracted to me and I to him.

    Beauty does not fade. We simply age.
    Rose´s last blog post ..Cursing on Twitter

    • September 18, 2010 at 10:21 pm

      Hi Rose.

      No, not married, that means nothing though.

      Nothing makes me “think it” it’s been researched.

      My parents are still together, happily too.

      The point is, it’s usually the women who instigate it. Been researched. 😉

      I never said it ALWAYS happens, not sure why you keep taking things literal, or personally, no offence, just thought it odd.
      rob sellen´s last blog post ..Humour- a funny thing…

  • September 19, 2010 at 3:12 am

    It is true the percentage of women initiating a divorce has increased over the years, but not for the reason that you have listed.

    I did not take anything personal. I am merely commented on a remark you made in your post.

    You said “IE you got the gorgeous kids, so now you want to have an attraction for you… not for a genetic reason… selfish reasons, yes but completely understandable.”

    This insinuates that women ending their marriage end it because he is no longer attracted to them or they leave for something better looking.
    Rose´s last blog post ..Cursing on Twitter

    • September 19, 2010 at 10:30 am

      Hi Rose.

      Can I ask… you said…

      “It is true the percentage of women initiating a divorce has increased over the years, but not for the reason that you have listed.”

      How do you know? Any proof?

      Then, you said…

      “This insinuates that women ending their marriage end it because he is no longer attracted to them or they leave for something better looking.”

      No, ending it because SHE is no longer attracted to him…

      Nothing to really do with looks, attraction is way more than looks.

      I LOOKED at the research, hopefully you will do that too… 😉
      rob sellen´s last blog post ..Communities- beware of owner

  • September 20, 2010 at 5:13 am

    Actually, yes there is proof. Look up the statistics on divorce. I looked at the research. When stating something in your post based on facts & research it is always best practice to cite your sources.
    Rose´s last blog post ..How to use Google Analytics Keywords

    • September 20, 2010 at 11:17 am

      Maybe you should cite your proof… 😉

      I wrote MY pinions, after looking at some research on it, I didn’t state facts, you refuted what i said, which was my opinions.

      Can I ask? You like arguing? 😛
      rob sellen´s last blog post ..Attraction factor and Missy magic…

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  • September 21, 2010 at 5:42 am

    Please see my latest post on “How to handle Controversial Topics in Blogging.” Rob, anything we write can become controversial and debatable. I’m not arguing with you. I am merely pointing out areas within your post that make it sound as though you are implying something that can easily be misinterpreted.

    According to Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. the most common reason women give for leaving their husbands is “mental cruelty.”

    “Abuse is the number one reason people decide to divorce, according to poll results from Gfk Roper. ”

    “Women overwhelmingly said they made the decision to divorce because of abuse issues with a response rate of 48 percent.”

    A study commissioned by AARP in 2004 revealed that nationwide, women in their 40s, 50s and beyond now initiate 66 percent of divorces

    Physical and emotional abuse, infidelity and substance abuse are still high on the list, but women more often speak about simple unhappiness, lousy communication and loneliness as reasons for divorce.
    Rose´s last blog post ..How to change your WordPress slug

    • September 21, 2010 at 9:50 am


      I don’t need to see your post, I didn’t write a “controversial post” … I wrote my thoughts. After all it is MY blog and I am allowed to do that. 😉

      I am not implying anything. 😀

  • September 21, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    Anytime you add your opinion to anything it can be debated. I realize this is your blog but when we open our blog to comments we are opening it to receive comments from people that may not agree with our opinion. I see I’m NOT getting any where with YOU so we will agree to disagree.
    Rose´s last blog post ..How to change your WordPress slug

    • September 21, 2010 at 10:55 pm

      Not sure why you don’t reply to the post above and keep them threaded… 😉

      The reason you are not getting anywhere with me, Is because there is nothing to debate, you are trying to tell me how I should do things, well, sorry but it won’t work.
      rob sellen´s last blog post ..WordPress rocks- Facebook users and new post ideas…

        • September 22, 2010 at 12:56 am

          I was not telling you how to do things. I was giving you advice that you can merely accept or ignore. Quite frankly I don’t care. I just wish you would not take my disagreeing with you personally. 🙂 Anyhow, I have said enough on the subject!
          Rose´s last blog post ..Avoid Blogger Burnout

          • September 22, 2010 at 1:02 am

            When I want or need advice, I’ll ask…

            What like you took the word FAT personally?

            Come on Rose, you seem to get on a high horse at times, you think I need “advice” ??

            You think IF I did I am not capable of asking for it?

              • September 22, 2010 at 1:14 am

                Ok, well it seems that way to me, telling me I should “go read your post” and things like that.

                Trying to “advise” me on shit I don’t ask for… nor want it.

        • September 22, 2010 at 12:58 am

          No, we weren’t… you were saying I was wrong writing what I did, though I wasn’t… I stand by what I said. 🙂
          Rob Sellen´s last blog post ..Humour- a funny thing…

  • September 22, 2010 at 1:07 am

    I recommend you read over what I said. I merely pointed out the way that you wrote the one remark could be misinterpreted.

    As for your ‘fat’ comment I did not take it personally. I was merely pointing out that I thought it was offensive.

    Why are you trying to continue to argue here? 🙂
    Rose´s last blog post ..Avoid Blogger Burnout

    • September 22, 2010 at 1:11 am

      I read it… what do you mean “why am I trying to continue arguing here? It’s my blog! 😆

      That one remark was NOT misinterpreted … only you said anything about it, no-one else. 😉

      There are a lot of offensive things in the world Rose, as I said before it’s almost impossible to NOT offend someone… whatever we say. We are damned if we do, damned if we don’t… 😉

  • September 22, 2010 at 1:15 am

    I said it could be misinterpreted.

    I don’t care if it’s your blog. Understand that I don’t wish to or was I trying to argue with you. Seesh lol
    Rose´s last blog post ..Avoid Blogger Burnout

    • September 22, 2010 at 1:19 am

      Anything “could” be misinterpreted Rose…

      Well, if you don’t care, why not go blog about it and link to anything here you don’t agree with, get some debate going on your blog about it?

      Well, this looks like an argument started to me… sorry, telling it as I see it. 😀

      Half this thread is made up of it?!

      • September 22, 2010 at 1:41 am

        Anything “could” be misinterpreted true. I don’t wish to blog about divorce. lol I already blogged about controversy. lol

        Hmm, maybe I’ll blog about Content being misinterpreted or comments being misinterpreted.
        Rose´s last blog post ..Avoid Blogger Burnout

        • September 22, 2010 at 1:45 am

          Yeah, why not, goes to show you can get blog material out of anything lol 🙂


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