ALERT!!! PLEASE click SILENCE above, go to new layout. ;o)




"New niches if I stay online"

I love blogging on here but obviously it's not enough, I have now started to really plan out that I will do with things, my other blog I will completely revamp and refocus it.

The portlandpowerblogger one that is.

I would like to keep this blog just as it is but improve more and blog to it more, like twice a day or at least once everyday.

Having thought about things a little more I know I need a few more niches, if I can stay online that is what I will be aiming for and I think I found one or two that will be good. :o)

Nevertheless there is also an idea I have which will spark some controversy and yet it will hit on some real truths...more than I can say at the moment, but those it's aimed at will not like it!
Tough... :o)

It will be an interesting thing because the twist to it is crazy!!! :o)

Everything is going to change for me and I will make it the springboard I need to get OFF benefits and blog full time.

But they say "If you don't ask you don't get"

So..

I AM asking, can YOU help me stay online so I can get this controversial idea off the ground and running?
Can you help me stay online so I can blog more on this blog?
I will be doing far more on here from a deaf person's perspective and it WILL be unique because although I AM deaf, I am in the hearing world... :o)

Someone pointed out something about me that really made me sit up and take notice!

So... Can you help?


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@ 3:15 PM, , create a link to this post



"Can you help me help myself?"

Bad night sleep last night, with the frustrations of yesterday heavy on my mind and the reality I could lose my connection any day I have to act, do something to ensure I can stay online at least long enough to keep the ball rolling and push it harder.

The truth is I simply what i do get in benefit is not enough and I have to send out cv's and letters every week which is denting what little I do have.

Something I am at a loss about here is the sheer amount of companies and employers who blatantly ignore the letters.
Of the 22 I have sent out in the last two weeks I have had TWO replies!!

Do people just not bother anymore?

I remember after the "black weds" in the start of the 90's when we left the ERM and all got laid off from work, I got a reply to 90% of what I sent out.
Didn't take long back then to get another job, and it was a bloody recession!

Shocking...it's getting as bad as customer service...non existent.

So...what can I do, and more importantly whats the plan for me now.

Well I would like to say I think I am getting better with this blog simply because I try to give better value in every post, I mean I have always strived to do this, but lately I have realised the power of giving over anything else.

The pleasure if giving is better than the pleasure of receiving for me, always has been.

The purpose of this blog was not to make money, but now I have to inject it into the blog so I can keep giving and giving more.

So if you can help me help myself I would be grateful for that and I could keep on keeping on and give bigger and better content.

How can you help me?

No.. how can I help you... ;o)

I would like to make some more good long post with tips, tricks and possible ideas for you to utilise in your blogging efforts or life efforts even.. ;o)

But I need to get a certain amount of income to enable me to do that...

So what can I offer you?

My screensaver which is just £5 (10 dollars), pic samples can be found on the blog sidebar...if you prefer dollars, just use the beer icon below and state in the message box...
"I want your screensaver please" and I will manually send it you. ;o)

If you really like that screensaver, or have pictures of your own you would prefer in a screensaver... just let me know, for a price of $20 I will create your unique screensaver from your pictures, up to a max of 20 pics and they must all be the same size.

If that appeals...again use the beer icon. ;o)

If neither of those interest you, how about this, one of the fastest ways to add a "income link" to your blog is using the 100% commission products as in the sidebar.

The link you add is so simple to do and you only need one sale for it to be free to you.

Here's an idea for you... you most likely blog and that means you are writing post or articles.

The Article easy one is great, a solid ebook of about 50 pages and very well written by a friend of mine, Martin Avis, which would help ANYONE get started writing articles or blog post etc.

Articles can be a great way of getting traffic.

Why not write a great article on your topic that leads to you pointing your link out for this product, the post or article is a top quality on on your niche topic, the teaser you have is...

"Want to write great articles on your (topic name) blog, website or for others to use on their websites with a link to you?"... "You need this article easy report" :o)

Or something to that effect, the point is you are showing by way of a great article.

Go as far as write a great article to post to the article directories with a link back to the very post on your blog where you write about how you create great articles... ;o)

If you like the idea of creating your own 100% commission reports, go grab the one which gives you the scripts to utilise for this.

Create a great little report on your topic and your readers may grab it, more so if they can resell it via a link on their blogs...all the while you are getting more readers of the report and your blog...you would include a link to your blog wouldn't you?

You could have affiliate links in there so you continue to earn from the report long after its sold.

Offer an extra free bonus to those who subscribe to your feedburner email set up. ;o)

Maybe you like using forums, of have your own forum... if so how about 20 pages of useful content you can use anyway you like?

I wrote this and I also include ideas on how best to capitalise on it.
The ideas may surprise you... ;o)

Or would you rather join my forum? Set goals and reach them. :o)

Well maybe you just have a big heart like me and decide..

"Hey I want this fella to keep on blogging, so I will just plain old donate to his cause...?"

Hey...thanks.. ;o)
The beer icon is just for that. ;o)

If you can help me stay online I can take this blog up a notch and do more over delivering on content.

I am most grateful for you being my reader and do hope I can continue to create for you.

Thank you for any help you can give me to keep on keeping on, and hopefully I can stay online at least till the benefit office recognise my disability.

I am writing to my MP next. :o)


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@ 10:21 AM, , create a link to this post



"How screwed up can it be?"

The silence is not golden at the moment for me I must admit!

Somethings certainly not right with the way this seems and I would guess you would agree after reading about this...

I have posted before about the fact I made claims for disability help because of my deafness, now I have been turned down recently for jobs because of...you guess failing health and safety due to...my ears.
Now some of you know I DO hear things with hearing aids etc, but the problem is I can't hear where the sound, noise (possible danger) is coming from.

Not a good situation obviously, so I mentioned this to the benefit office and asked them to take it into consideration when deciding my "disability claim".
Ok they said...

Now I get another knock back...no sorry... your not "deaf enough" in a politer way.

As I said before...

How dare they!!

And the biggest cheek is... they say "sorry about that, but we will make sure you have a disability adviser" ??!!

Look... I am either deaf or I am not!

No giving me bullshit like that, it's "yes you are" or "no you are not".

Simple... no?

I can appeal...what again?

Thanks. :o/

Another three month wait?

Nothing I can other than that, what a stupid system when others out there fake it with "bad backs" and crap.

Then I am on the bus coming home and I see a mate, get talking and I told him of this and you know what he told me?

Them smack heads (heroin addicts) (names not being revealed ;o)) are getting "incapacity benefit"...!!

What? WTF is going on with this country?
Smack heads who are NOT forced to take that crap are getting MORE than me to live on!!

They can't work??...Most never have, never will.

Makes me feel like all the tax, Nat insurance I have put in when I was working, was for nothing!

So...it stinks, what can I do?

Any comments?

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@ 8:21 PM, , create a link to this post



"What a lesson, at 5 years old"

I'll never forget the day and how it's influenced my whole life from there onwards and I was just a little 5 year old lad who was put on the spot and acted with an old head in a split second.

So what am I going on about now? ;o)

It was a lovely day, we were all at school sitting in the hall for assembly, I gazed out of the floor to ceiling windows over looking the outdoor swimming pool, watching the shimmer of the sun on the water made me feel good.

I felt like I was anywhere but where I was until the headmaster stood on the stage and addressed us all, his voice snapped me out of my trance and I turned to face him.

Read more »

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@ 10:49 PM, , create a link to this post



"Do I think different..."

Following on from the last post here is the other question I have been asked.

"Do I think different because I am deaf?"

Interesting question and I had a good think about it...pardon the pun! ;o)

Let me ask you something... What's the furthest back you can remember?
How old are your earliest memories?

Most people remember being 4 or 5, some younger.

Well believe it or not I can remember being about 20 months old... I can easily remember being 2 - 2 and half.

Now I know this because I asked mum how old was I when "this happened"..or when were "there"? Now mum was shocked, and once she said I was about 2 I knew I wasn't mad!

Why?? How??

Well if you think about it I heard NOTHING for the first 2 and half years of my life...not a single sound!
So that meant my whole visual world was so much clearer and stronger also in memory mode too. ;o)

The smells and visuals from then were amplified.
Now I have to admit I do have sharp senses, apart from ears obviously.

Here's how I look at it...

You are most likely "normal" (whatever that is?), in the sense you have all senses working ok, so to simplify it I look at it like...

We all have 100% sensual awareness, and each of the five senses in perfect harmony would be...

Together...100% perfect. Make sense? (no pun intended!)

Well I believe there is NOT one person in the world with this!

Not one person has it all perfectly and never will!

Obviously with age that 100% drops anyway...each one at a different rate, and each of us in a different way.

But I believe with each of us it is unique so maybe yours would be more like...

Maybe even in smaller degrees... ie, one is 19.2 another 18.6 etc.

Mine is something like...

A blind persons may be...


All 100% sensual awareness.

This is what we WORK with, our brains are relaying all this together with the actual experiences we have and they are also unique to each of us.

It gives us awareness, not intelligence.

This sensual awareness starts at birth, we learn as we go and yet no two 1 year old babies will have the same awareness, never in a million years!

Mine started early, as will blind people or other sensually handicapped person.

So in fact YES I think different BECAUSE I am deaf... ;o)

My senses feed unique levels of information and my brain tranforms this info to unique thoughts in accordance with my senusal awareness.

Just as they do with you or anyone else....you ARE special, unique!

That's the clearest way I can see it, and hopefully it makes sense.

Hopefully I have answered it to the satisfaction of the asker, feel free to comment below...

Any thoughts? (Pardon the pun!) :o)

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@ 11:49 AM, , create a link to this post



"If I wasn't deaf..."

I'd call my family one by one on the phone first!

I had a couple of interesting questions from a reader and I will address them one by one in the next few post...yes one post per question, they deserve that much seeing how interesting they were.
So thanks to the reader for these very interesting questions...and no I did not mind you asking one bit, in fact I am glad you did. ;o)

The reader didn't want me to mention them so I respect that.

The first was :

"If I wasn't deaf...what would I do?"

Now this is an interesting question which I have of course thought about but not more than a few times really.
I enjoy what I have... ;o)

But here it did get me thinking because if several things, one day with the way technology going it may happen!

Also if I share this with you, maybe just maybe some of you will have a few extra things and places to go with the nice weather and holiday breaks...and it may well spark a bit of the "hhhm I take that for granted" thinking... ;o)

Which is always good... ;o)

But there is something I need to say because I do believe this...

The real question would be :

If I woke up tomorrow morning and didn't need to put my hearing aid in and it was the traffic noise that woke me up...could I cope?

I would be in shock I imagine... :o)

Nice shock though... ;o)

Supposing that was the case, I would try and phone my family but here lies an issue I HAVE thought alot about.
I lipread, now I also hear so say you were facing me and talking to me, I could hear your voice and lipread your words, but cover your lips with you hand and carry on talking I now only hear your voice...see there is just a voice, like listening to the radio for me.

I need to lipread and that is something I would need to undo a little and by that I mean I would literally have to learn to hear words clearly, actually make sense of that voice.

Is THAT doable? I have no idea at all.
Looking forward to finding out if it is, if ever I do get that moment which in all honesty I doubt I will.

But there ARE things I could immediately experience as it's all now clearer and louder.

Listening to the birds and actually hearing the real difference to each call, bird.

Laying down in a long grass and listening to the silence interrupted by crickets and grasshoppers, ah the memories of that... see I have heard these things, but when you are a kid you do hear better.

But here are a few things I would listen too...more often!

Sitting on the beach and listening to the waves gently slap the shore under the moonlight.

Going to the woods to hear the sounds of nature, the birds and everything else.

Taking the kids to the funfair to hear their laughter.

Listening to the kids sing their little songs.

Tales around a campfire.

The sound of the water and fish tail splashing when fishing in a quiet spot.

The owls at night.

Sweet nothings whispered into your ear by a loved one!
(Just feels great, do they ever really say things?) ;o)

The sound of music!

The beautifully played music of the lone blind busker...Don't just pass them by! ;o)

The sad but romantically heart poking sound of the lone violin.

The deep haunting bellow of the whales.!

The sound of SILENCE!!! There is alot of answers in that there!

Most of all I'd just appreciate what I gain more. ;o)

I'd apprecaite what I can share with others, that's experiences, priceless..



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@ 6:44 PM, , create a link to this post



"Morning song"

Looking like the summer has finally arrived and since getting my new hearing aid I have been enjoying getting up early just to hear the birds sing to me. ;o)

Natures chorus sounds great!

Something many take little time to appreciate is blowing me away every time I hear it.

Are the seagulls the "heavy metal" singers of nature?

I've never had a problem hearing them... :o)


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@ 9:19 AM, , create a link to this post



"Self examination"

I have to get this right off my chest before it gets out of hand and hopefully by doing this I may learn a little more about myself, I sure need to think about things a little more with recent events.

I think in many ways I am a loner, yet in many ways I am also the life and soul of things, anyone who knows me offline will know what I am saying is probably true, a funny sort of contradiction it seems yet a true one at that.

Things have NEVER been easy for me, I know they are rarely easy for anyone but I am ME and can only have real knowledge of that.

I also know IF I want things to improve in life I have to change things to point in that direction and I am not just saying I have to drastically change because it's hard to change overnight but I can at least take things one step at a time which will eventually get me somewhere.

To do this I have to take a good look at myself and the way life has gone for me in general.

Funny thing life!

I digress... anyway, without sounding too "woe is me" let's take a look at things in all honesty as that is the ONLY way I can be...honest.

So... mum got pregnant, caught rubella...causing my deafness, which I would have no other way especially when you consider ANYTHING could have happened to me, so I ain't got the bad deal. ;o)

Being deaf was never gonna be easy by a long stretch, but if I may say so I done pretty good as I talk normal, never used sign language and live as normal as possible.
That has been a problem in itself though in some ways, a constant battle!

In some ways I am my own biggest bloody enemy...THAT I need to change.

School was ok, I liked it and never got bullied too much, no more than I could handle.
But it was the start of the way I became.

There are so many things that people seem to think I don't notice, like if I liked a girl it soon became obvious they liked me, but didn't want a deaf boyfriend!

Yet once ONE girl went out with me, the others wanted me...you know what they are like, want what they can't have!

You know it still happens that, I can be talking to a lady in the pub all going lovely looking like I am getting lucky, then I mishear something and say "oh sorry I should have said half hour ago, I am deaf so I lipread"... bang...they change and I think..."not again, ok sod yer, I am off" and I will just walk away.

Their loss not mine lol!

See..I am not stupid and never was!

Now I lipread the ladies across the bar to see first who likes me... ;o)

But I am getting ahead of myself here, going back to my teens, the age my own sons are now it was a shit time with things at home.

See the little bullying I ever got at school was nothing compared to what my dad gave me and I think 80% of my problems stem from that, they are still having an effect now.

I now realise more why I am the way I am.

See my dad used to hit me in the garage in front of his mates.... these mates were arselickers to my dad. there it is, exactly why I hate arselickers.

He even hit me in front of MY mates...how the hell do you think that made me feel?

It stopped as soon as I hit him back...that fight put my neck out and mum had to take me to hospital where I had a neck brace thing to wear.

These so called mates of my dads don't have anything to do with him now, but they also wont look me in the eye...actually I scare them now I am a big boy.

Yet pick on someone and I WILL stick up for them and it usually cost me too but I will still do it whatever it cost me...is that a bad thing?

So I left school and started my stone masonry apprenticeship...if you know anything you know Freemasons are central to stonemasons...if you "fit" you will be ok, I didn't fit because I hated that other worse masons than me got better work than I did...it's not your skill, it's your arselicking ability!

This is one reason I have not stuck to stone masonry, I don't want to be an angry worker, more so with a bloody great mallet in my hand!

I don't deal with being "told" what to do very well after the shit with my own dad.

Having two sons of that age I was I just cannot fathom ever hitting them...never and they know I will never hit them not for anything.

It's sick and sad...If I saw a man hitting his teenage son, you could be sure I would soon stop it.

My dad being a bully has made ME a better dad.

But it has also screwed me up as a person in some ways.

I am not blaming my dad in some ways because I am sure if he could wind the clock back he would have done things different, no-one gets a trial at this stuff.

But it happened and we have to live with it.

Once I left home at 16 I never spoke to dad for about 6 years, now we don't speak at all.
The strange thing is he hates me!
Even though he was the asshole in all of this, after all there is NO excuse for punching your kids in the face.
He knows NO shame.
He tried to turn my family against me.

Bastard.

I feel bad I have his surname and wish I had not kept it and given it to my sons.
See he is NOT my real dad though he has been there since I was a baby.

Anyway... it seems to explain alot to me about the way I am now and how easy I can get annoyed at things like on the forums.

The majority of my anger IS aimed at the arselicking... I wish I could stop getting annoyed about it.

Hopefully this will explain a few things about me and the way I am.

Any opinions or advice?


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@ 12:08 PM, , create a link to this post



"Taken for granted?"


Interesting time today and this is a first for me yet it was so nice.

Many of you are well aware I am deaf so unable to use a phone, this itself can be very frustrating at times, like the fact I can't ring my boys up and say "Hiya mate", today that all changed!

What..?? Do my ears work ok now?!

NO>. but as you know with a PC you can use messenger...many of you use it yet do you take the level of contact you have for granted?

I just got off msn where I was talking to my eldest, he is 14 now, I have never been able to have a conversation with my sons without them actually being here, or me there.

But wow.... what a beautiful thing, being able to message him and say...
"Hiya mate, good day at school? Is all ok, your brother ok?"

"Yeah dad, you ok? Can I stay at a mates on Saturday?".... "yeah course you can son".

I KNOW you all take it for granted, just as all do with many things.

This was a great heart warming moment for me, I also look forward to "talking" with my youngest too, who is 12.
I always said this was like a phone to me and that's ONE reason I use forums alot.
But my sons never had a PC at home so this is great.

I love it, just the fact I can say hi... to many of you it's nothing special.

To me...it's a life changing thing.


Take care,

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@ 7:20 PM, , create a link to this post



Incredibly frustrating day today

ALL becuase I LOST my hearing aid, being deaf and having a hearing aid is bad enough...

Like being naked when I don't have it in.
Still it is VERY hard to deal with out there... all that going on around you yet in silence!

Lack of communication has to be one of the MOST frustrating things we can go through.... ever lost your voice?

Well I am baffled...pissed off... and angry with myself today..

You may wonder HOW I lose something like that, well the mould that acually goes in my ear was there, the working part thats goes behind the ear...weren't..

It was only when I bloody buss went pass and I didn't hear it that I noticed!

I JUMPED right out of my skin. :o(

You get so used to wearing it you don't really feel it anymore...like when people wear glasses I would imagine.

You notice it when you DON'T wear them far more.

It stands out, it feels uncomfortably different... its bloody HORRIBLE!

So I got home, spent 3 hours LOOKING for my old one... found it, but its terrible..

I now miss my newer "best you can get" digital one BADLY.

At a £1000 each. :o(

I am pretty annoyed at myself yet I couldn't have helped it anyway, as the tube holding them together had broke.

So can't go to hospital before friday as it is not open until then, thats the actual ear, nose and throat place..

So stuck with an old one untill then, but most likey I will have to wait for a new one anyway.

Not a good day so far.. very annoyed so I have to get head in a different state, let it go for now... do something..

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@ 5:34 PM, , create a link to this post



How dare they?

Something has really annoyed me and I find it very distasteful too.

As you know I am deaf, I was born deaf.. now I have some serious
problems getting work what with half the jobs needing phone manner
or dealing with the general public, not to mention I can't hear the
fire alarms very well.. so it is unsafe to work in some environments.

So...I make a claim for disability living allowance..as I feel I AM entitled
to this extra help.

I had to get a doctors note which confirmed I was indeed born deaf.
I had to fill out a few forms explaining my disability and how it effects
my life... (as if it wouldn't).

Sent them off, waited about 9 weeks to hear from them...

Then they send me a letter denying me this help...without as much as
meeting me..or even assessing me.

How DARE they judge me without even meeting me.
How dare they say...

I am NOT deaf enough!

That STINKS.

Well I WILL appeal, I may even go as far as to take it to human rights
courts.

What do you think I should do?

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@ 7:07 PM, , create a link to this post