ALERT!!! PLEASE click SILENCE above, go to new layout. ;o)

The final hurdle seems to be the hardest too...

Just a shortish update on the battle with the baccy, which is still raging, I am annoyed with myself for not yet stopping smoking, this last few weeks have been a nightmare with it, though I have made some progress because I have cut right down, stopped smoking in the home apart from the kitchen, so the place smells better, feels better.

Just need to now stop in the home altogether, meaning other people too, soon as I stop, they do!

But, while I have made progress, it's that last bloody stretch that's driving me nuts.

I don't wanna have to start using alternative methods which while they may work, it's not really for me, there are many different ones, but I don't think it's a good idea to be putting focus on smoking, alternative or not...

I mean, instead or a real ciggy, use a false one...

I don't want to be faking it, really!

Can't see myself being comfortable doing that and even if so, how long do you walk around using that for?

Just gotta stop!!

Not create an alternative to it, replacing bad habits with good ones is fine, what habit really makes a good one to replace smoking the poisoning ourselves with that crap, as in the most likely to get into fast?

Saying, eat fruit, or whatever is fine... but it doesn't stop the baccy craving, or stop you sticking a smoke in ya mouth, which we can seem to do without even realising it...that's a habit alright!

I think I will have to get nicotine patches, at least to stop that craving, the other part, stopping times and situations where I usually smoke, is another awkward one, will have to do it.

I owe it to my kids and myself to stop this shit, and NOW!

So, that's the next thing for me really in the damn battle I will win... nicotine patches...change my situations where I tend to light up, though I have been cutting it right down to the few or even two a day on good ones, it's that last bit I am struggling with.

This week I'd like to stop altogether...let's see if I can do that!

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@ 7:19 PM, , create a link to this post

Happy new year to one and all, and a happy 80th birthday to my nan

Happy new year...

to all my readers, family, friends and strangers!

Hoping 2010 (twenty ten) is a great year for you all, remembering also those lost in 2009.

Happy new decade!

So what a decade that was, the relentless speed and growth of technology in our lives has made the "00's" and astonishing decade, a decade that changed so much, a decade that also gave a voice to everyone, a voice that will be heard.

Most of the real change in my lifetime has come in the last decade, as a 70's child (71) who started with a black and white tv, then when we could a colour, along came the artari game console and started the whole ride off.

Look at them now, and tv's too, which are no fatter than the war and peace book!

It really does seem astonishing what the last decade has given us in terms of technology changes.

Today's youngsters are so unaware of the impact, seeing as they are growing up with it all around them, they would find it hard to image the world without mobile phones!

What does the next decade have in store for us?

Whatever it is, we would be guessing wrong whatever we guessed, no doubt!

Exciting times ahead in that respect.

Last but NOT least...

Happy 80th birthday to my fantastic nan.

One in a million, no doubt about that, hoping nan is having a great time in the USA for her birthday and new year.

Love you always nan. x

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@ 7:03 PM, , create a link to this post

Up in smoke, changing the habit of a lifetime

Well as you can see I have been a little absent here lately, for good reason though I may add, felt as though I was in a free fall and was unsure what would catch me, thankfully my youngest son comes to the rescue in more ways then one.

Several weeks ago, about the time of the last post here my youngest brought home something from school, then brought it here for me, something that got me thinking and taking action.

Smoking... and giving it up!

One of the main reasons I have done little recently is the fact I needed to break my habit of smoking while at my pc and forming a short habit (on way to stopping obviously) of smoking in one room in the home only, namely the kitchen.

As a non drinker smoking has always been my one and only vice, one I am determined to stop for good, I know from past attempts it's going to be really hard to do and I accept that, that is the challenge I face.

Gradually I have cut down a huge deal over the last 3 weeks to a month and I already feel a bit better for it.

The main thing that rives me is not just the fact I don't wont my sons losing a dad early, but the fact my sons support me in giving up, that support is the main motivator which has surprised me somewhat.

I do of course want to see my sons have kids and for that to happen it's important I take this shit seriously and give up.

Breaking my usual habits, where and when I do smoke is going to be the main thing to keep plugging away at.

I am on my way to being an ex smoker!

But that's not all which has changed, I've also took the opportunity to take a step back and evaluate where my life is heading and where I want it to be heading.

Detaching myself from all this "stuff" I do and looking at it objectively it really opened my eyes.

I have learnt alot about myself these last few weeks.

On the whole, I am now aiming where I want to be aiming and not where I thought I wanted to be aiming...

Nothing is set in concrete in life, we have way more power of control than we probably realise.

To that end the biggest issue I have been dealing with is my mindset, we are who we are because of what goes into our minds, yet we are the ones who decide what goes into that space between our ears.

That for me means cutting out the negative crap, the news for example, who I interact with, online and offline, after all it's all influence.

The big lesson for me is the sheer ease of how things, people can influence moods.
I don't wanna be pissed off, annoyed, snappy, so I have cut off what was making me that way, with the giving up smoking it's vital I keep control of my moods.

With that in mind I have been ruthless in cutting off certain people, (although they are friends) on places like facebook, people I have known most of my life and people I have no issues with other than they way I react to what they say or do... I had to do it.

A few were annoyed with me and said as much, that's ok, I respect that but I am not going to allow it to bother me anymore, one or two berated me for cutting them off, which I found a little odd, as if they had this sense of "entitlement" and I must be friends with them.

As I said before, no offence to them, I have my own life and issue to deal with and this is part of that!

The ones who matter are my sons, they are the ONLY people with this "entitlement" as far as it goes with me.

If that bothers some people, tough.

So, while I have now got a real grip on smoking on one room, having broken the worse habits I have regarding smoking I feel I can get back into the swing of things online but with much better focus and intent.

In other words, not wasting time on the wrong places, building content where it matters, moving in the direction I now know I should in order to make things better overall.

Life IS short... to short to be wasting it on meaningless crap and wasting what precious time we do have.

Did I miss anything?

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@ 2:49 PM, , create a link to this post

Week of ups and downs...and a panic attack!

It's been a week of ups and downs for me, hence I have been quiet of late which culminated on Sunday when I had a scary panic attack, the only one I have ever had and I hope I never have another one.

Having been taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture from a different perspective it dawned on me that things just aren't good enough really, what I do and where I am going is bothering me alot, not to mention the sheer time and effort I have put into it, along with the stress I have been under.

It feels as though I am swimming against a tide, and failing at it!

Then I thought about it... who really cares?

I am not asking for sympathy, or anything of the sort, I am looking at it realistically...

I am wasting my time with certain things and have already deleted some blogs, stopped "trying" in certain areas of what I do, the niches I have tried to get somewhere with.

This last week I have been taking big action of some areas, meaning I have deleted sites, blogs, lots of crap from my pc and decided to make some big lifestyle changes.

I'm going to come straight out and say, regarding online stuff... all this effort was a total waste of time, time I don't get back, time I should have spent doing other meaningful stuff with. I take full responsibility for wasting that time!

Yet there are people out there selling it as "easy, and anyone can do it" which I am going to tell you is utter bollox!

I talk from experience too.

Yes anyone can start a blog, making it work and keeping at it until it is a success (by way of getting back what you put in) is what they DON'T tell you about...that is the work and the hard part.

Let me ask you this...

If this blog was deleted tomorrow, who would it really impact? Me? You? My friends?
My sons? (who really matter)

This is no A list blog so it's not likely to impact many people.

Therefore if I did delete it and start all over again and making it what I really want it to be, it's not the end of the I say, it's not a A list blog with tens of thousands of readers every day, far from it!

Maybe you see this blog sometime and it will look different simply because I decided to bite the bullet and change it. I know what mistakes I have made and where, which means I can at least pin point what I should have done and need to do better.

I need to be alot more serious about it than I have been if I want to see big improvements, I also need to focus better, I need to narrow the focus of what I do and where.

I am in some way glad this last week was as it was for me, it gave me the kick in the arse I needed.

I certainly want to see my fantastic sons have kids, so first and foremost is to improve my health, after all what if's not a panic attack next time, but a bloody heart attack!

A big part of that problem is stress, we all know what stress is like and how damaging in can be so I have to get that at a minimum, part of the reason I stopped doing so much this week.

I do feel more ready to face things now.


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@ 11:17 AM, , create a link to this post

It's not you, it's me...(maybe)

Bah, did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed today? (rant of sorts)

Or as someone else so well put it... Cornflakes... give over, I eat a proper breakfast... like weetabix!
(get with the program mate!!)

No... I just woke realising I have had enough... enough of the one sided social media, enough of the spammy crap, enough of the bullshit, the lameness of some people, smartarse experts who try to be clever by fooling the sheeple with stupid made up words and gobblygook, something we Brits see continuously with stupid job descriptions!

Baaa ... what a load of bollox! Excuse me while I PUKE!

It's not just the stupid bloody made-up-shit like that though...

The accumulation of so many things that have pissed me off in little ways that I could do without, so I will, offline and online.

But, it's not just this and now, I realise part of this "rant" is the fact I let things build up, and then blow a gasket...a legacy of my teen years and my dad treating me like shit with his fists.

Things can build up for months, even a year or so before I release it...and I have (thankfully not often) let rip in the wrong way in the wrong direction ~ ie what/who started it all is long gone by that point of letting it out.

So... I can stop myself, yeah, but why should I do that? Better to let this crap out, going from my own past experience!

Now I gotta blog instead of a gob!

Hence the reason I am making changes rather than ignoring it, which is just stopping myself being straight and honest with myself...and whoever reads this.

As with anything there are two sides to it, so it's not all bad because of others.

Anyway, part of this I realise is due to some of the recent changes, like the google reader changes for example, the experiences on several of these places have just made my own experience worse and I am filling my head with crap I don't need or want.

I am bored with so many of the blogs which seem to have changed from what made them great into an "old boys" pimpfest, yeah that old chestnut!

I am bored with the constant airy-fairy-shit and spam on twitter.

I am bored with the egotistical "experts" and their bloody opinions, cos that is usually what they are, just opinions...count for shit half the time!

Pissed off at so called friends who can't be honest.

Annoyed at MYSELF for letting this crap happen or bother me.

Yes, I know a big part of this whole problem is ME...after all... I subbed to the crap, I joined twitter, I screwed up in places, I may have expected too much,  I share peoples stuff with no thanks or similar in return, I waste my time!

No one else...

Some of you may notice I hardly use some of the places like I did, partly due to the users and partly due to me screwing up.

What I am going to do about it is unsub from the crap, clean up my twitter, get rid of what I don't want, stop reading so much or refine better what I do read, stop using certain places.

I have realised all that crap has changed how I feel, my mindset, it's has a negative effect on me, which I don't want or need and it effects others around me...for example, why would I want some anonymous dickhead online making my time with say my kids offline crap?

I don't. From now... things change as I am the only one who can do that.

If you lose me as a follower on twitter, lost me as subscriber on your blog, tough... I don't give a toss, you have to deal with that, not me, deal with WHY I unsubbed... I deal with my own thanks.

Not to say it's all bad, just starting to realise I got to the point of feeling like I don't give a shit!

This is the day I make changes, for better for worse, I am doing it because if I don't it will get worse.

No offence to anyone else, I am just sick of things being the way they are and have to take responsibility for that and do something about it.

Any thoughts? Want to share this crap?

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@ 2:00 PM, , create a link to this post

Just hacking at my blog, testing...

Busy making small changes on the blog, just to test out several things, you will already have noticed the new part at the bottom of each post with "you may like" links to other post as well as the rating by stars.

I would like to increase any interactivity here but it also helps me to tune to blog to better fit what you the reader like to see here, so I can improve it over time for you, a self feeding circle if you like. :o)

I am not keen on some of the blogs out there plastered with ads, flashing banners all down one side etc, simple is better, I like the cleaner white style, so will keep it that way.

After all, the only part that should get the most of the bloggers effort and your attention is the content.

As with any blog... if the content is ok then you will read it all, the content is the reason you read a blog is it not?

Better content is the only way to really improve what matters on any blog, the readership and I believe to improve that in a significant way the content must get better and more in depth at times if needed, so longer post may pop up on here... one reason I am testing out the new "full post" link here, possibly leading to have more post available on the main page, so they will all take up a bit less space. Something I like about some wordpress blogs, but hardly see with any blogger blogs.

So, it's not ideal but worth a try, not sure it will work properly to be honest!

Update: Nope.. crap, didn't work :o(


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@ 1:23 AM, , create a link to this post

If you lost your job, that's good...

Even if only for the ...
Everywhere you look and nowhere to be found... Depending entirely on your perspective!

Sad to see quite a few of my friends losing their jobs recently, and having been in that position myself a few times I know how demoralising shit it can be, although in some ways it can be a godsend, a push for change, improvement and growth in other areas.

So it can be good you get that opportunity!

I am annoyed a little at the fact my own eldest son has just left school and the economy is crap, leaving him with far less opportunity...Timing!
It happens though, and I don't doubt for one minute it will happen in another 20 years time when my grandchildren leave school.

They say nowadays people will have had an average of 14 jobs by the age of 38! I am 37... and yeah I have had about that many! ;o)

My generation had a harsh start to the reality of "job security" crap with the pulling out of the ERM almost 20 years ago!! (Was it really that long ago?) Which led to alot of us being laid off almost as soon as we qualified at our trades. It happened to us in the stone industry and we were told these job were for life, indeed many of the older masons had been there for life.

Some damn "job for life" that turned to be... and yet what a blessing it was too, because they don't really exist! :o)

Although it is a crap thing losing your job, and I have felt down after being there a few times, my best lesson learnt was, that the first thing to do is to simply... get over it.

Now I don't mean that in any harsh way and I know with families to feed etc it's not that simple... yet I say that because experience tells us once we stop looking at it a certain way, we gain in another way.

Like people advise with relationships... "never mind, you'll get over it, plenty of fish in the sea"... (except there aren't right now! lol...blame the fishermen!)

The point is, we need that change at times and if we don't get "forced" into it, we don't have the opportunities that arise and we settle for what is. That's something people often regret later in life, so it's all good whenever crap happens... obviously losing a job is not like losing a member of your family, perspective on it all does help.

I hope those friends who have lost work recently see plenty of opportunities around them to take advantage of and there are opportunities out there for every one of us, if we look carefully enough. :o)

Really ask yourself what opportunities you can utilise your skillset or knowledge with....or FOLLOW the damn dream you have had so long... whatever it is.

Every coin has two sides and all that jazz. Look for the biggest and best positives around you... don't dwell on the negative.

I may not hear as good as you, but you sure as shit can't lipread a pretty face on the other side of the room like I do can!

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@ 5:04 PM, , create a link to this post

Heading for the gate of facebooks walled garden

Having written previously about facebooks walled garden, lame rules, guidelines and lack of help when needed, I hoped not to have to do it again.
The fact they will block you without question or explanation, then unblock you... only to do it again later because you still don't know what the limits or rules are as they never told you the first time is to me lame.

They should clearly know after the fist time you are not a spammer, abuser, nor did you clearly offend anyone as no-one complained, the fist block was 6 days, this one has been 12 so far!

It's the worse way they could deal with it in my opinion, not that mine counts for much anyway.

Why punish those who actively help grow your business?
Why punish good users on a user generated site?

Why bother?

Therefore facebook now turns into an outpost for me and nothing more.

I will never again help others join the place and help them get to grips with it, not that I don't want to help friends but anyone who has helped others knows it is not easy for everyone and there will be lots of comments back and forth as they learn, which means commenting too much, that's likely to end up in another block and more damn frustration.

No thanks...

I am sorry to say to you friends on facebook, I won't use it the way I did and now it will be an outpost for things I share with you.

I am heading for the gate out of the walled garden known as facebook!

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@ 10:35 AM, , create a link to this post

Magical moments and why I want to make money online

This is why I strive to make money online, so I can travel and capture magic moments I live, luckily I do live in a gorgeous place that allows me to share moments like this with you.

A magic moment above wouldn't you agree? :o)

Isn't that what life's about, having magical moments?

This is where I live so it cost nothing to enjoy this and share it, yet for you it may cost money to come here and have the same. Likewise with me having to pay to experience it elsewhere.

Regardless ...

The best things in life are free ... there is so much emphasis on the money and not what magic it can give you, if you choose it that is. ;o)

A friend had just been to America on a road trip from west to east and shared some stunning pictures on his facebook page, that's what I would like to do, get out there and capture the moments, post them here or another specific blog for that and do that constantly.

You can't do that with a "job" unless that IS the job. Happy to apply if there are any lol! :o)

This is the appeal of working online, meaning you can work ANYWHERE and being in control of  not only your work but your lifestyle, which is the important one. Like they say, "you work to live, not live to work."

That is the dream of being able to make money online to me, to travel (take my sons too if they will) and capture more magical moments, everywhere, everyday and share them with you.

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@ 7:36 PM, , create a link to this post

Portland Bill's lighthouse, as it's not usually seen

Been a few days since my last post, had a busy time, a good weekend seeing friends and one in particular, well she was more than a friend at one time and that was a long time ago ... 17, 18 years or something.

All made possible because of facebook, getting us all in contact again and it was great to visit old haunts with the friends again, Portland has changed a fair bit since she was last here.

On the sunday we and a couple of friends went for a walkabouts down to Portland bill and had some dinner, the weather was nice to us too!

Managed to get a nice picture of the lighthouse from a different angle as you can see here. :o)

All in all a good weekend.

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@ 9:19 PM, , create a link to this post

Portland Bill, the lighthouse and swings

Portland bill's famous lighthouse. Shame you never hear the fog horn anymore, some great memories of hearing that while laying in bed at the house in Weston street as a kid.

Visitors can climb up the stairs inside the lighthouse and have a look at the spectacular view from the top, not sure about times and days, so if that interest you, best to check it out beforehand...nevertheless just being here will put a smile on your face ... not to mention the sun on your back too.

Europe forced us to have new swings here, they are not even facing the right way anymore either...they are small compared to old ones we used to have here which faced south, the way I am facing taking this.

My son and my nieces, nephew all having fun here. Feel lucky to have grown up with this on our doorstep, and luckier our own kids have been able to enjoy summers out there too. Taking advantage of their nan and grandad having a beach hut out here. :o)

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@ 2:34 PM, , create a link to this post

The way she made me feel...

Regarding the last post, a fair chunk of it's falling into place and making more sense to me, although there is plenty yet still to come no doubt but I don't expect it. :o)

The biggest thing is to move with the flow and acknowledge and accept whatever comes, whatever choices confront me when they do, then decide and act accordingly because I am yet to understand what the purpose is.

A friend said that I must have somehow, sometime started raising my energy vibration in a fairly big intense way to set me up for the events that followed (which I mention in the last post), I "tuned in" if you like as we are and "all that is" really is just that, energy and vibrations like radio waves. 

So I pondered on that to see if anything jumped out at me which could hint at triggering or somehow raising my vibration level ... after a few minutes I realised I didn't really know what I should even be considering, I asked myself, what sort of thing raises vibration anyway?




They would be the obvious areas to me that I should consider, as every emotional feeling has a different vibration doesn't it? 

Remember being in love the first time? 

Surely that vibrational feeling was higher, faster than when you felt guilty, sad, depressed.

And colours have an effect on us, we all know they ARE different vibrational levels of the same light...everyone has seen rainbows. ;o)

So I pondered on what made me feel good, happy, young, alive... 

Or what colours have effected me in any way, whether wearing them or seeing them, etc...

I just looked around, and something struck me...I decorated my flat several months ago and my front room where I am now is a light shade of  purple, lilac, although a few of my cheeky mates and one of my brothers said it was pink! :o/  

It's not, it is a light purple... honest!

Purple... no idea why I picked that but it IS the colour of the universe! 

I just remembered I shared an awful lot of 80's videos on facebook a few days before reading the ebook mentioned in the last post...written by someone famously known for wearing...purple! (hint there!)

These videos made me feel great, reminded me of my youth and all the loonies I grew up with enjoyed them too, no doubt reminding them of their youth.. :o)

Ironic...I just realised the first video which caught my attention and lead me to youtube and finding and sharing these videos was Prince, the video was purple rain! That is just too uncanny! :o/

A few reminded me of my first serious girlfriend... (wink to her.. ;o) ) and obviously the feelings you are reminded of you are in a sense reliving... bound to raise your feelings and emotions..therefore the energy vibrations too. 

All this together could have set it off no?

In this case when you listen to music, watch old programs or music videos as above, the feel-good factor IS raising YOUR vibration level...

So, to raise yours, do what makes you feel good, alive, young, free,  nostalgic, time and space is after all relevant. More so when you factor in feelings and emotions.

Close your eyes and really remember a point in your past and inside your head and heart (feeling) you are right back there, in an instant.

Remind yourself how you used to be...relive that great feeling it used to give you and ENJOY it... your feelings and mind are younger than your body.

If you could capture that sunny feeling of first love and live feeling that way all your life...imagine that! ... (says the single guy!)  ;o) 

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@ 11:19 PM, , create a link to this post

The invisible thread?

Well it has been an interesting few days for me, as you know from a previous post I have been feeling a little "lost" and yes the midlife crisis really did cross my mind! I felt like I had really come to what the picture shows... a dead end. 

So I am typing this without really thinking about it to much, I wasn't going to write this but after the last two days events felt it best I should... I am not sure of how I can explain it or work it out, but I will try, so you will have to forgive anything that sounds confusing or crazy... ;o) 

Comments are welcome... I am just going to be true to myself and stick to that, it may get long, may not....

It has been going on for a few weeks really, but thinking about it now and looking back all I see is synchronicity. It had me explaining that word and meaning to my youngest which he found intriguing. Even while explaining it to him I found myself noticing other moments of which I had which I realised were synchronicitic too. Some of my friends on facebook will have seen some of this happen over the last few weeks via some of the links and conversations we have had there.

Friday I really decluttered my home to the point that on friday night when my youngest got here he thought I had an emptyish living room! 

Felt good to get cleared out, it helped clear my mind a little, as they say it is all in the mind and the "outside" is a reflection of the "within" so my need to clear the mind started me off decluttering within and lead to me decluttering the "out" which was not planned on friday, just felt had to do it so did it. Am I glad I did.

Just the notion of doing that and letting it go set me free of the messy thoughts and confusion enough to make more sense of it all, to put it all in perspective so to speak. 

My youngest wanted to go home saturday early evening so he could go out on sunday with mum, her fella and their little son, my eldest as ever out with mates or his girlfriend! (young love eh). So I had an easy relaxing saturday night, sunday was spent lazing about as well as going out for a walkabout with my dutiful obedient camera. ;o)

But before I get to the odd events of this last weekend...

On facebook about two weeks ago now I shared on there an ebook link which I stumbled onto, no idea how I found it, I just clicked a link somewhere and was on page one of the book and started reading it...I never stopped until it was finished. When I looked at who wrote it I was surprised to see it mirrored the same thing which happened in 96 or 97..with the same author, in much the same way, ie..I stumbled onto them both unknowingly and unintentionally and just read them.

The first time in 96, 97, (not sure what year it was) I read a paperback, no idea where it came from, what it was called, where it went, nothing, I all I remember is reading it and thinking, wow, what? I never saw that book again!

While I read that and took it on board, enough to make my own conclusions but not dwell on it, I had life to deal with having two young sons at this time so I soon thought no more of it. Until the ebook reminded me of it more than ten years later!

Funnily enough, on the facebook post where I shared this, I mentioned that since I finished the ebook I had a humming in my head, now I already have tinnitus but it's was slightly different to that and felt warmer, nicer, calmer, more of a buzz than friends there would testify to me saying this, remember this was a few weeks ago too and it had not stopped for a few days after I mentioned it, so in all about 6 days I had that warm humming feeling.

I missed it the second day after it stopped to be honest lol...  :o)

Then the weekend before this last one, me and my youngest were bored on the saturday night, so we decided to watch a dvd and we chose "The matrix", which we had seen before but not together, so glad we did as so many questions for each of us were answered, by explaining points to my youngest I was also learning far more of the bigger picture of the reality we live.

Matrix = system. My sons knows what "I" mean by the system...

Our system to me is law, religion, education, politics, global businesses, mainstream media, all under the power and influence of Freemason societies. (not machines in the metal sense as on matrix, machines as in power and control sense)

By the end of the film which also explains very clearly the core of the content of the two books I read as mentioned earlier my youngest said...

"So are we all Neo?"  BINGO!  I was pleased to hear that I tell you. :o)

Now if only more of us knew of this sort of thing at 14, 15 years old and that's 20 years ago or more for many of us.  :o)

After that weekend I was "chatting" via email to one of my mates who I respect hugely and trust, I listen to what he says every time because he tells it as it is and spots things I miss, and I think likewise he also knows I will tell it as it is but more often than not we agree. ;o)

In the general "hows things?" conversation I mentioned what me and my youngest had been watching and we chatted some about the bigger picture and he said something which struck me.  

You know I haven't watched the matrix yet. I guess I'm anti Hollywood. I must watch it some day. Good to hear you are sharing those type of things with your son.

I'm currently reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged which is different, but similar. It's a big book!

In that ebook I read which I mentioned earlier (also a few weeks before this email remember), there is a mention of the book "Atlas shrugged"... not only that, the book I read over ten years ago has all the old names mentioned in the matrix, they are again mentioned in the ebook I read a few weeks ago.

My mate than said something in reference to a comment I made about all this swineflu hoopla... which I agree 100% with...yet is also says alot about how the system works with mass fear and mass manipulation...

Swine flu? Pah. Storm in a teacup. not worth worrying about unless it starts threatening us. But whatever you perceive it to be (Personally I go with the conspiracy theory - man-made virus (that is never going to do any real damage) foisted on poor Mexicans in order to make all the lemmings shit themselves so they forget about the henious financial crimes recently and currently committed against taxpayers) there are bound to be lessons for us to learn.

Sadly, the main lesson I have learnt is that -

The more you study marketing/persuasion/psychology - you might get wealthy from it, but it will make you feel very alone amongst the human race because 90% plus of people are living in a dream world and are so easily influenced by bullshit and fear that they are manipulated EVERY step of the way...that TV thing is really dangerous...I hope this comes across the right way, but perhaps this is one way that you can view your bad fortune as good fortune - meaning - you might be less inclined to sit in front of a TV if you can't hear it.

I don't know - perhaps you will tell me different? But you're definitely not one of those typical lemmings. And the WORST part of it is that there is NO reasoning with them.

TV is the systems best tool....why I never watch it ;o)

Mass mind control in plain sight....they don't see it, it is hidden in plain sight...that description fits perfect!

Sadly most people are forced into a narrow-mindedness they don't even know they have, live with, think with. They literally DON'T think...

The powers that be are aware that people are happy for others to do their 'thinking' for them, so that they can repeat it like parrots while claiming ownership of the thoughts.

Just by reading something and thinking it you give it power, reality, by expanding on it by way of commenting with others etc, you further strengthen that thoughts transformation into reality, group thoughts project more of the reality...mass panic!

That is why the Internet is so powerful for you and me... it is a platform "they" have no control over, they cannot censor everyone sharing what they feel needs to be shared.

They also use this platform to manipulate, or at least they try, but the reality is YOU chose what you look at online everytime you look, providing you think for yourself that is ;o)

But he is right, start to think for yourself and see the bigger picture and you can find it a slightly lonely place. The Internet is the thing helping us to connect to others who think for themselves.

Then this last weekend a few odd things happened admittedly both of which stopped me in my tracks really, for a while anyway.

On twitter if anyone post something with your username ie mine is @robsellen it will show up in your replies tab for you to see regardless whether you follow the person or they follow you.

One such tweet sprung into my replies tab asking if I was there as you can see, from a famously known psychic person too, so I did reply to him and a few tweets were posted which were interesting as you can see here and here and he openly asked for my blog link after someone mentioned it, so he hadn't yet read it or anything.

So anyway, he went and had a look at the blog then posted a tweet saying it was falling into place. Well according to another psychic mercury has something to do with it too. 

So what do I make of all this and what lessons are there for us?

Now as my mate mention studying marketing/persuasion/psychology earlier I of course will think, in some terms, of this way relating to all of this, I mean, Russell knows I will think for myself, so remembering there is a marketer in all of us, including Russell it would be easy to say.."ah well, he could have checked my twitter out etc and decided to do this"... maybe so, maybe not.

I don't think so, I think all this is genuinely connected.

I have not yet mentioned the ebook or author, I would like to know what you think about all this before doing so, maybe I will do that in the next post ;o)

What to make of that I am still wondering, but as Russell said...

"mine is not a reason to wonder".

Any thoughts on this?

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@ 3:14 PM, , create a link to this post

Midlife crisis or...

Feeling a little like this signpost, at a crossroads so to speak, not just with this blog but life in general, something I have been pondering over in the last few weeks.

Midlife crisis coming up? :o/

Bloody hope not, then again it gives me an excuse if needed. :o)

The biggest thing I pondered over was lifestyle, not size of my bank account, this blog, who's doing who, what's happening wherever else, the crap about baconflu, Gordon Brown being the biggest and most naive idiot in the UK, what's happening on the brainwash box (TV)...nope non of that.

Non of that crap matters...not to me anyway. ;o)

What matters is how you feel, if you are happy, if you are being true to yourself, what your real life purpose is, the path you should follow, where it can lead, how you can stride that path.

Starting to realise it's ALL a state of being and not doing.

Now it's finding my purpose.

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@ 10:07 PM, , create a link to this post

St Patricks day, 16 years ago today

This handsome young man came into our lives, a day my life changed forever and for the better.

The day I became a dad!

He never made it easy for his mum either keeping her in labour two days! 

I am proud of you J.

Happy birthday son, Love ya lots.... Dad x

To the rest of you, have a good St Patricks day.

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@ 1:27 AM, , create a link to this post

A fire, a clean slate and why it matters

Glad to be here writing pc blew up and this started a small fire inside the unit which thankfully didn't get worse as it could so easily have done so.

After that happened I realised a new pc was needed or at least whatever part it was that blew needed replacing, thankfully a friend (hat tip to you stu) helped me to get this sorted out and yet it was almost the whole thing was replaced inside, regarding the hard drive I lost everything on there apart from the back ups I had online and the few disc of things I had saved over the time.

I am annoyed at not backing up more often and although you have heard it before...don't forget the back ups! ;o)
Don't learn the hard way like some of us do, I have lost well over a thousand ebooks in one go!
As well as a lot of other stuff I had kept over the years.

Thankfully I did get slightly lucky.

In some ways I am glad it all happened now because it gave me a real scare and also galvanised me to avoid it happening again. It also got me clear on a few things in ways I didn't expect that I now know will be of massive benefit to me over time.

Immediately after knowing it was blown I thought...

"Damn, I have lost so much stuff on there, wtf am I gonna do now"

Well I grabbed an A4 pad and pen and with the realisation all I really needed to know was already in my head due to having been doing lots over the years and getting that experience as well as having read all them books I have lost, It's all there somewhere and I just need to extract what I can and do what I can with that.

I didn't have the bonus of firing up the pc and refreshing my memory and getting distracted with manner of other stuff.

The simple fact I approached it like I was actually starting from scratch got me thinking clear on what I really knew and where it fitted together and knowing the action needed to make it work for me, it really helped to make it sensibly achievable for me in reality, on paper!

We fixed my pc, replacing what we had to and I was lucky enough to be able to use my Hdrive as well as another old blank one I had, got back online with all new start for me, a clean slate.

Then I started to really look at the few folders Stu manged to save and moved to the other Hdrive, to my surprise I started funding folders with some saved things in them, ebooks, docs, etc, all manner of things I already accepted as being lost!

I feel lucky to have to now also found things I really thought were gone which just made it like a bonus. :o)

Nevertheless I had already started to really get into the frame of it being a good clean start and though I am lucky enough to have also sites and such up online to build upon I still feel like I am have a new start rather than losing what I had.

Taking the positive from it as an experience and learning from it.

Don't forget the back ups! :o)

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@ 11:09 PM, , create a link to this post

"Happy new year, same shit different day?"

Happy new year!

While it is nice to see some of us can afford to relax!!

Most people are either nursing a sore head, tidying up a real after party mess or back to work!

Some of us now setting goals or if you like resolutions to achieve in 2009, starting today while that's ok I am not sure it's a good thing in some ways as it can also set you up for a bit of early disappointment depending on what it is, ie: give up smoking TODAY. (Failure tomorrow?)

So I am taking a slightly different route this year knowing it's going to be more beneficial to me over the short, medium and long term, but I will have goals but...

Instead of just setting goals, planning the action to take you forward to them goals then taking the action needed to reach them, most people get bogged down by "stuff" that creeps back into the normality after the new year optimism.

Daily slots.

I am setting daily slots of big action to avoid getting bogged down by the "stuff" normality brings us, you may have seen someone wearing a t' shirt proudly declaring...

"Same shit, different day!"

That is a truth for way too many of us! For far too many days!

I learnt a powerful lesson reading something Steve Jobs mentioned in a speech...(worth reading)

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

I have been saying that to myself for the last few months each morning and it has made a difference in a big way. I realise while it's ok to have goals as people do, such and such by 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, etc, it's the daily ones that matter the most as we are only here today, now.

Well for someone working online, that "stuff" that bogs you down is a time and money sucker, after all time is money.
That "stuff" is a distraction and can waste time we can't afford to waste.
That "stuff" is, for someone working online things like forums, social sites, twitter, facebook, etc reading blogs too much etc.

Two sides to it all

But there lies the rub, it is a double edged sword, as we need to do this "stuff" too in many cases, it is finding that balance to make it all worthwhile and fit together for the bigger picture.

If you are to "work" online you need to earn money, you can't do everything for nothing as it won't last, before long you don't even have an Internet connection!

Some will say "well you make the money in traffic and connections from these social sites, forums, blogs etc"...yes it's a part of that double edge sword as a sort of a marketing action.

But without something to sell, or earn from by way of service etc from that marketing action it is useless, because there is something fundamentally missing...

Buy me buttons!
Hire me buttons!

If, as I suspect will happen sometime somewhere given the current economy, someone is to say, "hmmm maybe there is something in this make money online lark"

They will need to grasp that simple fact!

For you to "get" money, you have to give them a way of giving you that money.

A value exchange.

So there you have it, my daily goal, increase what value I can give, and create more buttons to
allow the acceptance of money. :o)

See I am sick of these so called "people who know better" telling us what we should and shouldn't do, saying things like...

You shouldn't be "monetising" a blog, it's against our unwritten code of "ethical" blogging.

Should I highlight the most important bit there? I will, done.

Bugger off, do what ya like with your blog, I couldn't give a toss, THIS one is mine and I decide what goes here! :o)

Cheeky sods!

In any case...the truth is I don't want to "monetise my blog", I want to "monetise my time and business!"

That doesn't mean stopping using social sites etc, it means using my time to better effect, ALL the time, making daily slots of big action that gets results, IE helps me make money online.

That is my aim this year henceforth known as 2009!

The end of the "same shit different day" for me!

What goals and actions have you set yourself for 2009?

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@ 4:34 PM, , create a link to this post

"Magic of making up"


We all have them, good and bad.

The one thing we all also know, when they end, friends say...

Don't worry, plenty of fish in the sea, get out there and get into the dating game again...and quick!

Bad advice if you ask me, for several reasons,
  1. Is it fair to have "emotional baggage" put onto someone else?
  2. Do they really want to meet someone else?
  3. If they do meet someone else, is ANYthing about that going to be genuine?
Probably not, most of the time all they can think about it is their ex and what they are up to.

Funny thing love!

While it may be true sometimes the split up is the best option, or the only option left to them, the majority of the time there are kids involved and in reality it's very few of those split ups that are "hopeless."

There is some very do-able things that will save any relationship, somethings you would never even think of and yet if people knew of them they would have a better chance of trying to make it work out, even if only for the children's sake.

But the real beauty of this knowledge is, why wait till you have the problems? Why not use them to strengthen your relationship?

Every relationship takes work as we all know, but it's what you work ON in the relationship that can make the difference between an ok relationship and a great relationship...and NO it's not the sex!!

It's the Magic of making up!!

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@ 11:12 PM, , create a link to this post

"8 things everyone wants, or wants to be"

Ignore the doom and gloom, there really are only 8 things we ALL want to have or to be more of.
If you know more, please share ;o)

In no particular order they are...

Nice relationships in the family,
Nice friends,
Constant peace of mind,
Prosperity, however sized,

8 things, what can you do to improve each of these...daily?

Improve one a day, as well as possible, or improve each a little daily.

Choices...oh yeah them, aren't you lucky, you CAN choose your choices, actions and results. ;o)

What do you choose?

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@ 9:46 PM, , create a link to this post

Timing is everything!

What a time to be offline when I have seen so many familiar on facebook!

Ah well, never mind as I am trying to get online asap I will catch up. ;o)
What have I missed then?
Anything new happening?

Sorry it has been a while since I wrote, will start doing more and more often.
Surprised by all those I see on facebook, faces I have not seen in 20 some cases!
That long?
Sheesh...time flies!

Back soon!! ;o)

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@ 8:39 PM, , create a link to this post

"Dam greedy banks"

Done it again, ripping me off with charges...costing me my connection..yet again!

Have had enough of the hassle from them.
I am astonished at the greed they show.

I went £2 over my limit...that's 4 dollars, and got a bloody charge which has wiped out what I had for my connection!


I am now going to write another letter to the bank to sort this out.

Meanwhile, looks like I am back the library like I am now writing this.

I am sick of the stress and hassle of struggling.

I will be on here as much as possible while waiting for that to sort out.

If I can do a review, or sell a few things from here it may help.

I will NOT let the banks get away with that sort of greed.

As usual shit customer service!

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@ 2:48 PM, , create a link to this post

"New niches if I stay online"

I love blogging on here but obviously it's not enough, I have now started to really plan out that I will do with things, my other blog I will completely revamp and refocus it.

The portlandpowerblogger one that is.

I would like to keep this blog just as it is but improve more and blog to it more, like twice a day or at least once everyday.

Having thought about things a little more I know I need a few more niches, if I can stay online that is what I will be aiming for and I think I found one or two that will be good. :o)

Nevertheless there is also an idea I have which will spark some controversy and yet it will hit on some real truths...more than I can say at the moment, but those it's aimed at will not like it!
Tough... :o)

It will be an interesting thing because the twist to it is crazy!!! :o)

Everything is going to change for me and I will make it the springboard I need to get OFF benefits and blog full time.

But they say "If you don't ask you don't get"


I AM asking, can YOU help me stay online so I can get this controversial idea off the ground and running?
Can you help me stay online so I can blog more on this blog?
I will be doing far more on here from a deaf person's perspective and it WILL be unique because although I AM deaf, I am in the hearing world... :o)

Someone pointed out something about me that really made me sit up and take notice!

So... Can you help?

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@ 3:15 PM, , create a link to this post

"Can you help me help myself?"

Bad night sleep last night, with the frustrations of yesterday heavy on my mind and the reality I could lose my connection any day I have to act, do something to ensure I can stay online at least long enough to keep the ball rolling and push it harder.

The truth is I simply what i do get in benefit is not enough and I have to send out cv's and letters every week which is denting what little I do have.

Something I am at a loss about here is the sheer amount of companies and employers who blatantly ignore the letters.
Of the 22 I have sent out in the last two weeks I have had TWO replies!!

Do people just not bother anymore?

I remember after the "black weds" in the start of the 90's when we left the ERM and all got laid off from work, I got a reply to 90% of what I sent out.
Didn't take long back then to get another job, and it was a bloody recession!'s getting as bad as customer service...non existent.

So...what can I do, and more importantly whats the plan for me now.

Well I would like to say I think I am getting better with this blog simply because I try to give better value in every post, I mean I have always strived to do this, but lately I have realised the power of giving over anything else.

The pleasure if giving is better than the pleasure of receiving for me, always has been.

The purpose of this blog was not to make money, but now I have to inject it into the blog so I can keep giving and giving more.

So if you can help me help myself I would be grateful for that and I could keep on keeping on and give bigger and better content.

How can you help me?

No.. how can I help you... ;o)

I would like to make some more good long post with tips, tricks and possible ideas for you to utilise in your blogging efforts or life efforts even.. ;o)

But I need to get a certain amount of income to enable me to do that...

So what can I offer you?

My screensaver which is just £5 (10 dollars), pic samples can be found on the blog sidebar...if you prefer dollars, just use the beer icon below and state in the message box...
"I want your screensaver please" and I will manually send it you. ;o)

If you really like that screensaver, or have pictures of your own you would prefer in a screensaver... just let me know, for a price of $20 I will create your unique screensaver from your pictures, up to a max of 20 pics and they must all be the same size.

If that appeals...again use the beer icon. ;o)

If neither of those interest you, how about this, one of the fastest ways to add a "income link" to your blog is using the 100% commission products as in the sidebar.

The link you add is so simple to do and you only need one sale for it to be free to you.

Here's an idea for you... you most likely blog and that means you are writing post or articles.

The Article easy one is great, a solid ebook of about 50 pages and very well written by a friend of mine, Martin Avis, which would help ANYONE get started writing articles or blog post etc.

Articles can be a great way of getting traffic.

Why not write a great article on your topic that leads to you pointing your link out for this product, the post or article is a top quality on on your niche topic, the teaser you have is...

"Want to write great articles on your (topic name) blog, website or for others to use on their websites with a link to you?"... "You need this article easy report" :o)

Or something to that effect, the point is you are showing by way of a great article.

Go as far as write a great article to post to the article directories with a link back to the very post on your blog where you write about how you create great articles... ;o)

If you like the idea of creating your own 100% commission reports, go grab the one which gives you the scripts to utilise for this.

Create a great little report on your topic and your readers may grab it, more so if they can resell it via a link on their blogs...all the while you are getting more readers of the report and your would include a link to your blog wouldn't you?

You could have affiliate links in there so you continue to earn from the report long after its sold.

Offer an extra free bonus to those who subscribe to your feedburner email set up. ;o)

Maybe you like using forums, of have your own forum... if so how about 20 pages of useful content you can use anyway you like?

I wrote this and I also include ideas on how best to capitalise on it.
The ideas may surprise you... ;o)

Or would you rather join my forum? Set goals and reach them. :o)

Well maybe you just have a big heart like me and decide..

"Hey I want this fella to keep on blogging, so I will just plain old donate to his cause...?"

Hey...thanks.. ;o)
The beer icon is just for that. ;o)

If you can help me stay online I can take this blog up a notch and do more over delivering on content.

I am most grateful for you being my reader and do hope I can continue to create for you.

Thank you for any help you can give me to keep on keeping on, and hopefully I can stay online at least till the benefit office recognise my disability.

I am writing to my MP next. :o)

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@ 10:21 AM, , create a link to this post

"How screwed up can it be?"

The silence is not golden at the moment for me I must admit!

Somethings certainly not right with the way this seems and I would guess you would agree after reading about this...

I have posted before about the fact I made claims for disability help because of my deafness, now I have been turned down recently for jobs because guess failing health and safety due ears.
Now some of you know I DO hear things with hearing aids etc, but the problem is I can't hear where the sound, noise (possible danger) is coming from.

Not a good situation obviously, so I mentioned this to the benefit office and asked them to take it into consideration when deciding my "disability claim".
Ok they said...

Now I get another knock sorry... your not "deaf enough" in a politer way.

As I said before...

How dare they!!

And the biggest cheek is... they say "sorry about that, but we will make sure you have a disability adviser" ??!!

Look... I am either deaf or I am not!

No giving me bullshit like that, it's "yes you are" or "no you are not".

Simple... no?

I can appeal...what again?

Thanks. :o/

Another three month wait?

Nothing I can other than that, what a stupid system when others out there fake it with "bad backs" and crap.

Then I am on the bus coming home and I see a mate, get talking and I told him of this and you know what he told me?

Them smack heads (heroin addicts) (names not being revealed ;o)) are getting "incapacity benefit"...!!

What? WTF is going on with this country?
Smack heads who are NOT forced to take that crap are getting MORE than me to live on!!

They can't work??...Most never have, never will.

Makes me feel like all the tax, Nat insurance I have put in when I was working, was for nothing! stinks, what can I do?

Any comments?

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@ 8:21 PM, , create a link to this post

"What a lesson, at 5 years old"

I'll never forget the day and how it's influenced my whole life from there onwards and I was just a little 5 year old lad who was put on the spot and acted with an old head in a split second.

So what am I going on about now? ;o)

It was a lovely day, we were all at school sitting in the hall for assembly, I gazed out of the floor to ceiling windows over looking the outdoor swimming pool, watching the shimmer of the sun on the water made me feel good.

I felt like I was anywhere but where I was until the headmaster stood on the stage and addressed us all, his voice snapped me out of my trance and I turned to face him.

Read more »

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@ 10:49 PM, , create a link to this post

"How do I start blogging"

This is something EVERY blogger has thought of at least ONCE. ;o)

For the obvious reason we all had to start...somewhere.

I still get asked this question and it is something you are going to HAVE to deal with if you want to blog, so ultimately the easiest way is to just start! ;o)

Ok...then the other questions start...

All natural to each of us, we all ask them and all the answers are there to find and easily enough it is too. ;o)

Spending a few hours getting these answers will do 2 things...

  1. Tell you if it is worth doing
  2. If so it will inspire you to DO.
If it is not 1, you will need to ask what else you could ask answers for, ie what else can I blog about that will be 1. ;o)

Ok, how?

There is a great thing on the web called Google...and it's ALL you need for everything really and yes I am serious.

Google is more than "Google"... an oxymoron but it's not JUST a search engine. ;o)

Ok, so you want to at least get some answers to..."how do I start blogging?"

An 8 step plan of ACTION, for now... ;o)

Have a Google account?

If not...Grab one here and choose a user name which remember you can use on everything else I tell you, choose wisely, you will have a Gmail account...this is the email centre of your Google account.

Now you are have a web centre to utilise and it's a huge free asset online to have but more on that another post. ;o)

This is simple yet will be a big benefit to your time and efforts as well as the learning curve.
Most links are at the top of your Google Gmail inbox, one is IGoogle... ;o)
On this IGoogle homepage you can add stuff...alot of this will be stuff you USE, more on that soon. ;o)

This will be your blog dashboard and using the Gmail account as a log in so you only ever need log into all Googles services with your Gmail account once. This will simplify everything.
You can create many blogs in this ONE account, that's why I say don't worry about the first dummy blog.

Now you have the perfect blog search engine to research for the answers to 1. above.
Lets say your "blog topic" will be around your favourite pastime of baking cakes...

Go search for "baking cakes" with " " and without ... baking cakes and see what comes up.
Note how many blogs, how many searches made or anything you see that you can take data from.
Bookmark the blogs, when you look at them really take note of what captures your eye and compels you to read more. Save everything, notes and blogs etc.

Take note of the top right hand side where it say how many sites there are, so it IS something people read. ;o) Look at a few of the websites that come up and see what captures your eye again and bookmark ones you like.

Now you can see that module you just added on your IGoogle homepage... this will be your online web centre bookmarks once you are rolling. ;o)
Add to that THIS blog you are reading.. ;o)

Now you have that reader, see that orange button at the top left of this that and add to your Google. ;o) If not sure, go to the bottom of this blog and click the add to Google button.
Add to the reader and this to your IGoogle homepage.

Simple and fast, effective. Go look at your IGoogle page now. See it all on there and yet you also have the option of creating new tabs... Even create a cake baking tab. ;o) Save things to it.

Now you have a nice Google center you can access anywhere.

I'll stop there for now because now I am sure you are going to have some play around etc.
Go ahead have a look at the set up and see how simple and streamlined it is.

After you have had a look around, have a good think about what you could blog about and read other blogs on whatever topic you have thought about. ;o)

Any questions or comments feel free to do so below.

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@ 4:07 PM, , create a link to this post

"8 random facts about me"

The lovely Alice "marketing sweetie" Seba has been chasing me!

Ok...she tagged me with a meme...same thing anyway! ;o)

The meme is 8 random facts about me.

Do I even know 8 random facts about myself?? ;o)
Lets see...

1. I was a pretty rapid sprinter in my youth running 100 metres in 11.29 secs at 16 years old.

Should have carried on with that, as I'll never know now if I would ever have broken that 10 sec barrier with age and strength...mind you it was handy for getting away from the "navy police" we had here after we would wind them up late at night while they were on "drunk matlow patrol". ;o)
Ah the memories of garden hopping on the naval estate...seeing the navy police gasping and cursing at us as we darted out of sight... and more! Great fun and great times.

2. I am an avid sports fan in the sense I keep up with ALOT of sport and am a keen "paper gambler" meaning I don't bet for real...but do get results for fun. ;o)

I can't not look at sporty side of life, I was really into sports as a kid, football, running, whatever it was I enjoyed it. I am a spurs fan!! Harvey Segal will not speak to me now lol!
I was a good left winger... and the problems we have had for England! sigh did I miss my chance lol!
As an adult I have always been up to date on most sporty things, one of my main likes is F1 motor racing. ;o)
Go Lewis... you will do it this year, and I got the last two years right in paper bets with Alonso!

3. I survived falling down a pot hole at 9!

Made the national news though, strange watching yourself on TV especially with that situation as a kid... ;o)
Most of my old offline mates will remember it well. I feel about 30 ft, head first and landed on a ledge luckily because it was probably over 100 ft deep.
Sadly and I STILL think about this, someone in Italy died that same month falling down a pot hole. I'll never forget that and wish I could find out more about that child.

4. I LOVE pickled onion sandwiches!!

YEP... just plain chopped up pickled onions in bread and butter, this was something my beloved nan made for me when I visited, back then almost daily. TRY IT... ;o)
They go well with chips too... chopped up.
My fantastic nan often made us salmon sandwiches too which were lovely, she made a great stew too...always had at least two bowls of that! :o)
Sigh* I miss nans cooking...looking forward to it next time we see her. ;o)

Love ya nan! I know you will never read this but so what! Still stands. :o)

5. I cant help looking at the moon at night...if it's there I have to stare!

The moon fascinates me, I have no real idea why but it just blows me away to see it, more so when its full around here where I live.
I can happily sit for an hour on the beach looking at the moon and its reflection on the sea.
When my boys were young like a year old I used to sit the doorstep with them and we would look at the moon...they said "moon" pretty young, and "la Luna" not long after! ;o)

I honestly believe the moon effects us in more ways than we realise. :o)
No I don't sprout hair and fangs and howl!
But I do like to party and dance under the moon!

We get it almost every night...
Such a fine and supernatural light...
Every body's feeling warm and bright...
Every body's dancing in the moonlight!

That song sums up how it feels to look at the moon for me! Although cheesy it's pretty spot on lol.
But imagine being there and looking down here!!

6. My life dream has always been to have a "real" book in print!

A book on what? I have no idea...
But I have always dreamt of that, other people having a book on their bookcase with MY name on it?!
I am an avid reader of real books and always will be.
I never miss a thing in books, not like films. ;o)
And MY internal view is better than Hollywood's! ;o)

7. I LOVE a cup of tea!!

Don't ask, I am a Brit! ;o)
I am always drinking the stuff lol, I know only a few people who drink it like I do.
40 teabags don't last long in my house!
A cup in the morning before I can even think...then another to think about what I was thinking about... ;o) Put the kettle on!

8 One of my best online feelings is when I get a donation on this blog.

When I write a post I hope that it gives you readers value or at least a smile or two! ;o)
I live by being honest and rather tell it as it is, honesty goes a long way with almost everyone, there are always a few who will always be dishonest.

When someone buys me a beer using the beer icon below and says in the email notification, "hey I like your blog and writing so I bought you a beer", or "thanks for being so straight up and giving me a better perspective which made me think clearer" or "thanks for putting that straight", it makes everything feel great and inspires me in a big way, far different to selling something, very different.
It's nice to know people like reading this rag! ;o)

Well there are 8 random things about me!
Just an ordinary bloke me!

Now I have to tag a few people, some have ignored tags before for whatever reasons, so hopefully I can pick people with a not to busy time on their hands...

Lynn Terry! Because Lynn always does them and gives value! ;o)

Phil Wiley! Because it's about time I tagged him! ;o)

Martin Avis! Because I bet he has some interesting facts to share with us... ;o)

There ya go folks...looking forward to reading about you.

Thanks to Alice, that cheered me up!! ;o)

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@ 11:00 PM, , create a link to this post

"Two faced warriors"

I was going to stop bothering even mentioning the warriors due to the mistreatment I had yet there has been something I felt had to share with those warriors who still read my blog here...and it IS a few of you judging by my blog visit stats.

Not surprisingly because of the fact it happens in life everywhere I have encountered some seriously sad backstabbing from the two faced warriors who are simply to stupid to realise that it only hurts them.

Listen up you backstabbing two faced warriors (you know who you are too) , you are NOT hurting me in any sense but you are making yourself look stupid...which you probably are so it's no surprise there.

I will say though you are seriously misguided when you say the warriors is the place to be if you want success...woah there, if you really think so you are as stupid as you sound.

Most people have NEVER heard of the place and yet they have good what gives you that stupid view on things?

The fact you have emailed me calling me alsorts and saying that I am a nobody is not doing anything but making it clear to me what sort of a person you are...not one I would want to know anyway.

What IS surprising is the few who I considered friends who have stabbed me in the back with their two facedness, so they are not really friends as such just users who are a little to stupid to realise they make themselves look bad...I could EASILY name you here for everyone to see....would you like that?

Didn't think so a little warning to you there, that should you feel like emailing me with another load of crap...your name will be on here for all to see!

If you are so sure of the warriors making you rich as you say...why are you bothering with me?

Let me say this...the way you said that you will get rich from the warriors will end up ONE being banned because what one of you said in essence is you plan to rip them off!

Doubt that will go down well lol!

Whatever happens you won't be hurting me because I am not there to be ripped off... ;o)

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@ 9:39 AM, , create a link to this post

"New ears"

Ok well not quite new ears but I had a new hearing aid given to me and wow...what an improvement.

Glad to know that progress will be so much faster now they are digital.

Strange to see the hearing aid hooked up to the computer for some fine tuning!
I wonder if I can get THAT software! ;o)

It seems my old one was whistling a little constantly, yet not loud enough to hear and it may have been sending me mad!

I have tinnitus anyway now which you learn to ignore which is not easy seeing as it's a constant thing.

The birds sound great out there! :o)

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@ 10:38 AM, , create a link to this post

"The simple things count"

This is the coast path taken during Easter weekend, looking back towards the Bill...I forgot to take the camera this week.... doh! :o(

Nice to see the weather perk up, looking like the summer has re-arrived, it was nice in the early weeks before the rain.

Being the summer holidays I have had the boys over the last few days... and what a great few days. ;o)
Walking around the coast path of the Island...from far away down the path you see above to the point I am taking this one from. ;o)

Quite a walk but well worth it for the views!

Turning around...we face this, as above...and as we have walked back from the Bill we have come closer and closer to this view!

Now is THAT worth the 3 odd mile walk?

Moments like this with the kids, simple yet beautiful are what count. ;o)

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@ 8:28 PM, , create a link to this post

"Self examination"

I have to get this right off my chest before it gets out of hand and hopefully by doing this I may learn a little more about myself, I sure need to think about things a little more with recent events.

I think in many ways I am a loner, yet in many ways I am also the life and soul of things, anyone who knows me offline will know what I am saying is probably true, a funny sort of contradiction it seems yet a true one at that.

Things have NEVER been easy for me, I know they are rarely easy for anyone but I am ME and can only have real knowledge of that.

I also know IF I want things to improve in life I have to change things to point in that direction and I am not just saying I have to drastically change because it's hard to change overnight but I can at least take things one step at a time which will eventually get me somewhere.

To do this I have to take a good look at myself and the way life has gone for me in general.

Funny thing life!

I digress... anyway, without sounding too "woe is me" let's take a look at things in all honesty as that is the ONLY way I can be...honest.

So... mum got pregnant, caught rubella...causing my deafness, which I would have no other way especially when you consider ANYTHING could have happened to me, so I ain't got the bad deal. ;o)

Being deaf was never gonna be easy by a long stretch, but if I may say so I done pretty good as I talk normal, never used sign language and live as normal as possible.
That has been a problem in itself though in some ways, a constant battle!

In some ways I am my own biggest bloody enemy...THAT I need to change.

School was ok, I liked it and never got bullied too much, no more than I could handle.
But it was the start of the way I became.

There are so many things that people seem to think I don't notice, like if I liked a girl it soon became obvious they liked me, but didn't want a deaf boyfriend!

Yet once ONE girl went out with me, the others wanted know what they are like, want what they can't have!

You know it still happens that, I can be talking to a lady in the pub all going lovely looking like I am getting lucky, then I mishear something and say "oh sorry I should have said half hour ago, I am deaf so I lipread"... bang...they change and I think..."not again, ok sod yer, I am off" and I will just walk away.

Their loss not mine lol!

See..I am not stupid and never was!

Now I lipread the ladies across the bar to see first who likes me... ;o)

But I am getting ahead of myself here, going back to my teens, the age my own sons are now it was a shit time with things at home.

See the little bullying I ever got at school was nothing compared to what my dad gave me and I think 80% of my problems stem from that, they are still having an effect now.

I now realise more why I am the way I am.

See my dad used to hit me in the garage in front of his mates.... these mates were arselickers to my dad. there it is, exactly why I hate arselickers.

He even hit me in front of MY the hell do you think that made me feel?

It stopped as soon as I hit him back...that fight put my neck out and mum had to take me to hospital where I had a neck brace thing to wear.

These so called mates of my dads don't have anything to do with him now, but they also wont look me in the eye...actually I scare them now I am a big boy.

Yet pick on someone and I WILL stick up for them and it usually cost me too but I will still do it whatever it cost that a bad thing?

So I left school and started my stone masonry apprenticeship...if you know anything you know Freemasons are central to stonemasons...if you "fit" you will be ok, I didn't fit because I hated that other worse masons than me got better work than I's not your skill, it's your arselicking ability!

This is one reason I have not stuck to stone masonry, I don't want to be an angry worker, more so with a bloody great mallet in my hand!

I don't deal with being "told" what to do very well after the shit with my own dad.

Having two sons of that age I was I just cannot fathom ever hitting them...never and they know I will never hit them not for anything.

It's sick and sad...If I saw a man hitting his teenage son, you could be sure I would soon stop it.

My dad being a bully has made ME a better dad.

But it has also screwed me up as a person in some ways.

I am not blaming my dad in some ways because I am sure if he could wind the clock back he would have done things different, no-one gets a trial at this stuff.

But it happened and we have to live with it.

Once I left home at 16 I never spoke to dad for about 6 years, now we don't speak at all.
The strange thing is he hates me!
Even though he was the asshole in all of this, after all there is NO excuse for punching your kids in the face.
He knows NO shame.
He tried to turn my family against me.


I feel bad I have his surname and wish I had not kept it and given it to my sons.
See he is NOT my real dad though he has been there since I was a baby.

Anyway... it seems to explain alot to me about the way I am now and how easy I can get annoyed at things like on the forums.

The majority of my anger IS aimed at the arselicking... I wish I could stop getting annoyed about it.

Hopefully this will explain a few things about me and the way I am.

Any opinions or advice?

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@ 12:08 PM, , create a link to this post

"Get stuffed.."

With enthusiasm and drive to get to where you really want to be.

Did that headline grab your attention?

Was it from your rss reader?

The Internet is littered with things to distract you at all the time while you should be working, or if you are surfing you almost end up surfing completely randomly due to the... distractions.

Too often if you are meant to be working online you get off track and end up wasting several hours on what could take you an hour.

It's said you have a few seconds to grab the attention of your readers, so forgive me if you were working.. ;o)

But I really do want you to "Get stuffed...With enthusiasm and drive!"

There is nothing better to drive you on than to achieve something you set out to do, but all to often we let things slip by the wayside.

Let that madness end for you.
One of the key reasons people "give up trying" is due to lack of real focus on what you should be doing.

It really doesn't matter what it is you need to have drive to achieve.
This can help you get that drive and enthusiasm to achieve.

Are you a newbies struggling to get somewhere?
Do you have a website or blog going?
Feeling overwhelmed by it all?
Info overload a problem?

Are you trying to give up that nasty habit you have?
Keep slipping up?
(This part of the concept is already having good results)

Need to lose weight but having not to good results yet?
Need to get fitter?

Wanting to get somewhere but not really sure how you should go about it?
Jumping from one thing to another?

Perfect for capitalising on what will help you change all that and more.

There really is no better thing than the increase of enthusiasm to achieve what you set out to achieve and that enthusiasm only come from you,'s your enthusiasm that drives YOU to's your goal after all.

Who could say no to more enthusiasm, the right and needed enthusiasm too.? ;o)

I feel that if you use this concept the way I ask you to you will be much more enthusiastic while also reaching your goals easier, so much so you will not stop using it.

Laser your focus with enthusiasm and you will not go far wrong.

I have been pleased and surprised by the positiveness of the concept and how it has already shown it works.

You don't need the "super-duper" ebook or guru-mumbo jumbo to get success, you just need to ACT on the enthusiasm you have to achieve things.

Those "things" are whatever you want them to be.
You set your goal(s).
The enthusiasm is the drive, increase that and do it!


So I ask you to join us, take the opportunity to really start getting somewhere.

But to make this a better deal for you I ask you to act fast...

This will be a one off chance for you and I want you to make that chance a success.

The concept is my focus project which is priced at a very low $15 a YEAR! As seen above left... ;o)

For you if you act NOW I will let 100 of you join at $10 and gain 1 year FREE!

Just use the beer function below, paypal me $10 and mention this, use "one year free please" in the "comment" section of email paypal sends to me with your payment...

I will send you the link, I will NOT be adding you to ANY list.

Those of us already doing it ARE doing it good.
This offer is good for ONE week or the first 100 people.

Once I have 100 members I am also considering raising the price on the membership so it will pay to get in now because you will STILL only pay $10 a year after your free year is up.

Grab your chance the beer function below.

Edit : Update, thanks to those who have joined me and I have to admit I am surprised by not only who has joined but what they think about the concept too. :o)

Don't think this offer will last a week!

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@ 2:41 PM, , create a link to this post