The last few weeks have been in some ways a revelation to me for a number of reasons, things unexpected and a few “a-ha” moments that have made me think…..think hard.
George Orwell: ‘In an age of deceit, speaking the truth is a revolutionary act’.
I am all for the truth and honesty, so in all honesty I feel I have let myself down quite badly through my own fear, fear I should have bannished aloooong time ago.
That fear and the wish to beat it made me wite this.
Fear that has been there 20 years and stems from something I never thought about…till recently.
The root of the fear was something different to what I thought it was all this time.
It has also influenced my brothers, not my fear but the root cause.
That stupid fear shaped me, shaped me in the wrong way, I DO NOT want that fear having any influence on my sons.
A chance to really change my life for the better, a chance to change me.
A chance to help me be more who I want to be.
You do know me pretty well in some areas as any offline friends would admit to..
I don’t lie online just as I don’t offline.. the truth always outs in the end in both..so why lie?
You know I am not one of those who sells “How to get rich selling how to get rich” people who are in abundance online..how could I when I do NOT have that experience?
Far to many people buy that stuff…which is actually realising what the book is about…i.e they preach how to get rich, you buy it, make them rich, selling you what they did to you..
I have made money online, and I did make some small (but residual) amount recently.. but…(more on that in a sec)
It’s a funny thing when you think about online and offline..they are very closely woven yet online we “write ourselves into existence”, for without me writing this you wouldn’t know me.
I want to continue writing myself into existence..
It is true that we can be whoever we want to be online in some sense, yet there are limits or boundries from offline that influence you online.
Your ethics or morals maybe, the way you “talk” maybe, sense of right and wrong…..whatever.
My fears have lasped into my online work..its stopping me..I am stuck, trapped.
This fear has cost me thousands and thousands..I KNOW it and knew it at the time yet didn’t really care enough, for the fear distracted me enough to make that so.
NOW I kick myself for it…..pretty hard!
Only because NOW I know the real fear and I know I can beat it.
I need help though.
The cause I thought it was is something I am, in a sense, glad happened because it has bettered me…
Before I go further I want to say this may shock or suprise some people, those who know me online more so.. sorry if that is the case but this IS something I have to face and I know that is respected too by those same people.. they know me well enough for that.
It’s no secret that my dad hit me a fair few times while I was in my teens..I mean punched, kicked.. and yes its sad, but didnt hurt so much body wise as it did mental wise.
I only ever retaliated forcefully back ONCE.. and that made him get an injunction out on me… thats cowardly bully action to be honest, but without getting into that…
It was the last time it ever happened.. and that was along time ago now…I was 18 then…but never liked bullies since!
But I would say 70% of those times he hit me it was over… MONEY.
Stupid little amounts even, my dinner money for school..etc.
What really hurts me now..is looking at my own sons…at the age I was when it started happening to me… that is sad.. it has made me a better dad.
I would never hit my sons..never, not for any reason, especially over bloody money.
But I digress… it is no suprise that all me and my brothers do not have a very positive attitude to money, none of us own a home, we would rather spend what we have on our own kids. We are all over 30 now…but it is changing for us all..slowly but surely.
It could have been so different, our dad being self employed, ..successful too, yet that made him the way he was with money.
It is no wonder I like IM and coming up with ideas, after growing up watching dad in his various trades…alot of similar things go on.
I thought my fear was money makes you like that…
Hence me having a fear if I have money it will make me a worse dad.
I now know it was my reaction to his reaction to money that gave me that fear.
He had the “love of money” that influenced him in a negative way…I DON’T, but I feared I did.
I wrongly attached that badness to the money…for to long.
Now if I do have money I feel uncomfortable.. my glass ceiling is low…very low.
I have never had much in any one time.
Realising this was a huge breakthrough for me mentally.
It set up the path to me breaking this fear and becoming who I do want to be.
Many of you will have read my recent report based around the warriors, over 400 downloads to date.
It gave a very good do-able idea for anyone, it was a good preseller.
It also got me a small but residual income!
Now I gave that away…partly due to the fear I would make money, that stopped me selling it which I had thought about and partly due to wanting as wide a range of opinion..meaning I wanted as many people as pposible to get it..I would soon find out if it had value.
I had a fear it was not of value..
Yet had not ONE complaint!
I had lots of compliments… :o)
It started an income stream…slowly yet surely.
The problem now is I don’t get any of that income until end of Feb at earliest.
That is the only one downside to not building a list while I did it…I could have created something especially for that list.
Stupid fear really… but lesson learnt.
That was my first positive step.. a big step for me too.
I am not the sort of person who would have just asked for anything from that list either…I want to deserve what I do get.
But I do have a problem at the present time, but also want these problems to be the catalyst to me changing, to me beating that fear…for good!
There is only one way for me to beat that fear and that is to shatter my glass ceiling and grow as well as growth allows, as well as I deserve to grow.
That is what I plan to work on…generating my ceilin
g amount as fast as possible and deal with it…grow farther and enjoy the beating of it, while reinforcing the why I did it.
I know I need to give value..that’s never a problem with the crap that is bandied about these days!
I already have great plans, plans that could make me well off yet my fear stops me, it also stops me growing as a person.
I have no real desire to build a list and sell to the IM niche…so maybe if I can help you do that in some small way then I can follow my plans.
I really want to grow, online and offline, for they are linked, I know I CAN make money if I set myself free, but I want that feeling of free more.
I mainly want to get a camera, and that is something you will see make a massive change to the stuff I do online…pics everyday on these blogs!
Being deaf my eyes are better, I have often been told I take good pictures so they may well be linked.
But I also want to get one asap so I can take more pictures of my dog before she passes away.
So..to help me what can you do? Am I going to ask for a handout?
No… I want to give value, good value, value that you can use.
I already know I have something of value and I want to help you benefit from that value while you are helping me bannish my “had for far to long” fear…
If I am to be happy I have to beat this fear.
My report that people have already has links in, that if one person utilised all of them I would get just over 200 dollars, and some of that is residual.
I am glad there are 400 out there for it could have a trickle of income over time, that shows free works…free spreads.
BUT…those people are NOT going to spread my report with my links in…..
Now I reworded it slightly to make a new report that presells the warriors mastermind, as well as others.. like a membership script etc…NO “death of” in there… ;o)
It is still a good solid ten page report with potential and a great idea.
But how about one better…
Would it be worth selling the word doc, as is as PLR to people to brand it as is with own links etc, or even they can use the info in a different way, ie…add own content to it to fill up the report to a book preselling the same kind of things but those links of your choice?
Simply put..you could do as you please with it.. build a list giving it away, sell it with a good backend…whatever!
I am in urgent need to do something to start me on that path to successfully oliberating that fear…I need to smash this ceiling asap and time IS of the essence here…
Would you buy it? Would you prefer it was limited?
What would you pay for that?
Any comments….please.. Click the “speak up” link below….